To really get into this one, take a moment to sit down comfortably with your back supported and your head free. Take a few slow, deep breaths, then close your eyes. Now, imagine waking up and rolling over and seeing your ideal partner lying next to you, fast asleep. Take a moment and really picture what they look like. Is it a man or a woman? What color is his or her hair? What color is their skin? What do they look like when they're sleeping? Can you hear their breathing? Let your imagination run wild.
Now, they wake up and open their eyes and they see you and make eye contact. Notice what color their eyes are, and notice what their smile looks like when they see you. They pull the covers away and you see their body as they walk to the bathroom. How tall are they? What physical form do they take? Just see them as they walk through the room.
As you both wake up and start the day, imagine what your activities look like. Do you go out for brunch or do you cook at home? If you cook at home, who cooks and what do you make? Smell the food in the air and see it on the table in front of you. Picture the table itself. Do you sit in front of the TV or in front of each other? Is your table in your kitchen or on your balcony? As you're chatting over brunch, notice what the conversation is about and what attributes about your partner come out when they talk. Do they like to talk about politics or work? What kind of job do they have? Do they want kids?
You wrap up brunch and head out for your perfect Sunday. Just imagine what that is for you both — hiking, kayaking, exploring the city, going to see a movie, going for a long drive. Throughout the day, notice the moments that you connect and that you make eye contact. Notice what it feels like when you're riding in the car and you reach over and touch their hand. Is their skin soft or rough; do they hold your hand back?
Now, imagine that the day is winding down and you're back home getting ready for bed. I want you to have some fun here and picture your ideal sexual encounter with this person. Are you in the bed or on the dining room table? Are you wearing anything? Are there rose petals or candles? Really take the time to see the images, smell the smells, taste the tastes, and feel the feelings. Then imagine yourself falling asleep in their arms, feeling safe and connected and so incredibly grateful for the bond that you have with this person.
Taking a nice, deep inhale, savoring all of those feelings and images. As you exhale, bring yourself back to the present.
How did that feel? Was it dreamy and perfect, or did you have difficulty picturing many of the details? If it's the latter, that's OK. Because I'm about to give you a piece of homework to help you really hone in on the details of your ideal partner.