Many older moms have described to me the feeling of not belonging—whether it's in the pregnancy yoga class, the postpartum lactation group, or on the preschool playground. They note that it's difficult to relate to the new mom who might be in her late 20s or to the older mom who already has several children. It can be hard to hear comments like, “Aren’t you concerned that you’re changing diapers when everyone else’s kids are leaving for college?”
When in this position, it’s important to reframe the situation. It's valuable to think about your reasons for making the choice to have the baby at this time in your life. It may be as simple as this was the right time for you! Your decision was based on many factors that naysayers do not understand and you should not feel obligated to explain to them. Instead, take comfort in knowing this was the right decision for you and your family. As there is a rise in the number of women choosing to have babies later, finding the right support group becomes easier, and sometimes online is the best place.
My hope is that all moms over age 35 understand that focusing on emotional well-being can help make your pregnancy, regardless of your age, more enjoyable and rewarding.