We need to be able to trust each other in order to be open and vulnerable. We trust that we are devoted to being honest with each other, even when it's hard.
We need to know that integrity is important to each of us. Having integrity means not behaving in ways that go against our essence — our conscience. When we are true to our essential goodness, we become trustworthy.
It takes time to build the kind of trust that leads to emotional intimacy. We need to experience many different situations with each other to build the trust necessary for enduring emotional intimacy.
In a committed relationship, these are the ingredients necessary for both emotional and sexual intimacy. Emotional intimacy leads to sexual intimacy between partners, which is why there is frequently more passion at the beginning of a relationship than after many years.
Before partners build their walls against getting hurt, they are often open, kind, and present with each other — which facilitates passionate sexual intimacy. Many times, this is temporary, because the deeper trust isn't yet there, and people often close down when their fears are activated.
But when people in long-term, committed relationships learn to take responsibility for their feelings, staying open to learning with each other; believe in their partner’s essential goodness; be present, kind, caring, compassionate, honest, and trustworthy with themselves and each other, both their emotional intimacy and their sexual intimacy will continue to deepen.