Of course I miss make-up sex. But at the same time, not being able to have it has forced us to use our words to make up following a fight. And each time, we come out a little stronger and more connected than we used to be.
Some LDRs are the result of a night of romance while backpacking through Europe. Some develop online, with an in-person meeting yet to occur. And some start like mine — with a couple accustomed to taking turns cleaning the bathroom having to adjust to taking turns crossing the border.
However your long-distance relationship came to be, know that your relationship is real and valid, regardless of others’ opinions. The fact that we spend more time FaceTiming than we do face-to-face doesn’t make the content of our conversations any less vulnerable or intimate.
The fact that we don’t live in the same country doesn’t make us any less committed. The fact that we don’t have our future planned doesn’t mean we don’t see a future together. And the fact that we’re not following a conventional relationship path doesn’t make our relationship any less valuable or legitimate.
The other day, I was at a dinner party, explaining to a new friend why I wasn’t dating in the city.
“I’m trying to understand what you get out of it,” she asked, referring to my long-distance relationship. “A girl like you — you’re really doing yourself a disservice not dating.”
My answer? Love, support, comfort, validation, entertainment, shared experience — I get out of my long-distance relationship exactly the same things anyone who’s in a healthy, committed relationship gets out of theirs — long-distance or not, a good relationship, at its core, is just that.