20 Signs Your New Love Interest Is Emotionally Unavailable

Whether you're navigating the trenches of a painful divorce, taking a sex sabbatical or hibernating from love, eventually you will yearn to get back out there and try your heart at love again.

As you pick up the pieces from relationships past, you may find yourself gaining enough courage to start fresh. Welcome to the hopeful next chapter of your love life.

The sweet sensation of love floating in the air. And massive expectations as you prepare for yet another new date with a new person. But just because you feel ready doesn't mean your potential mate is on the same page.

Unfortunately, when it comes to matters of the heart, we don't always know the outcome. And not every connection is fated for happily ever after.

If you're ready to fall in love again, make sure you're with someone who's on the same page. All too often, one person is ready, and his or her quest to belong and feel love again will overshadow reality. Sometimes we simply fall for people who aren’t ready to date.

Learning to recognize the red flags early is part of leading a balanced and healthy love life. If you really want to attract and bring real love into your life, make sure your new potential partner is, too.

Here are 20 signs new love interests might not be emotionally available or might not be into you.

1. When you feel like you have to work for their attention.

2. They don't make eye contact when they talk to you.

3. They avoid “getting to know you” conversations or don't ask questions about your life.

4. They ask the same questions over and over (because they didn't listen the first three times you told them).

5. They dodge or change the subject when you ask about them.

6. You seem to pay for everything.

7. They're overly defensive and don't take responsibility for their role in the situation.

8. When you’re left wondering, “Do they like me?” If a person likes you, he or she will find a way to let you know.

9. You haven't met their friends or family.

10. They seem secretive about telling others when you're together.

11. You get the sense you're being used (for money, sex, business ideas, etc.).

12. You have a hard time understanding them or knowing what their motives are.

13. They only want to communicate via text, Facebook, email or chat.

14. You feel confused, lonely or insecure after spending time with them.

15. They always talk about their ex. (No matter how they mention their past, if it’s in the present, it's likely they haven't moved on.)

16. They're noncommittal. (Plans are hard to pin down. If you ask them about the future, they may snap at you.)

17. They don't flirt with you or find ways to be close to you.

18. They seem to make a lot of empty promises.

19. They say I love you, or ask you to move in or get married on the first or second date. I hate to bust the love at first site bubble, but sometimes too soon means they are more in love with the idea of you than who you are as a person.

20. Your time together feels superficial – you’re left feeling frustrated or emotionally exhausted after being with them.

Do yourself a favor and dub this person in the friend zone and move on. If you want real, big, earth-shaking, feel-it-in-your-bones love, let go of people who send you mixed signals and make yourself available for the real thing. Your future self will thank you and so will your future honey.

If you want more inspiration on this topic or on how to create a life full of love and passion, grab this FREE guide

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Shannon Kaiser
Shannon Kaiser
Shannon Kaiser is the best-selling author of 5 books on the psychology of happiness and fulfillment...
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Shannon Kaiser
Shannon Kaiser
Shannon Kaiser is the best-selling author of 5 books on the psychology...
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