Always Want To Heal Your Romantic Partner, Empath? 6 Tips To Break The Habit
After speaking to thousands of sensitive clients all over the world as a professional intuitive, I've met many empaths: people who feel the energies and emotions of others. Some empaths are also concerned about suffering, nourished by helping others, and tend to possess a strong healer archetype.
These empaths sometimes feel called to act as the healer in their romantic relationships. While not necessarily a bad thing, this tendency can lead to unfulfilling romantic pairings if left unchecked. It may cause empaths to unwittingly attract unsuitable potential partners, simply because they sense that they need healing. Or it can lead empaths to feel drained and like they constantly need to help, improve, or "rescue" their mate.
If you are someone who is very sensitive to the energies and emotions of others, here are some things to keep in mind with romantic partners:
Remember that you and your partner or romantic interest are both enough as you are right now.
Ideal romantic partners encourage each other to keep growing and evolving, but they are loving and accepting of each other in the meantime. It's wonderful to see someone else's potential, but keep in mind that they are on their own unique journey.
It's also worth noting that you should not date someone for their potential. Commit to a partner based on who they are now, not who you hope they can be in the future.
Be a healer outside of your romantic life.
Healers are needed, and work in, all types of professions—from the financial industry to healthcare to the arts to your local coffee shop. Mindfully bring your healing nature to any job or role you're already in—including parent, friend, co-worker, teacher, etc. Once you're employing the healer part of yourself more consciously, it's easier to let go of wanting to heal your mate.
Offer people invitations to heal, and then step back.
The only person's healing you have control over is your own. In romance, or anywhere else in your life, you might offer someone support on their healing journey, but you must respect them enough to let them make their own decisions and follow their own wisdom.
Empaths can easily go into someone else's energy or emotional experience, which requires sensitive people to stay centered and keep healthy boundaries. Respect yourself enough to step back from time to time so you don't become drained or ungrounded.
Know that you can leave romantic relationships that don't serve you.
Relationships move through cycles, so difficult cycles can and do shift. Yet it's important you feel you're getting something nourishing and substantial from your romantic partner. You deserve someone who will challenge, heal, and invite you to improve too!
Turn that healing energy and attention onto yourself.
Looking inward will help reduce your urge to heal a partner or choose potential partners who are healing projects. In my new book Self-Care for Empaths, I offer 100 rituals, exercises, and quizzes to help you concentrate on you in healthy ways. Sometimes you can positively and powerfully influence a partner by simply setting a healthy example. And a good self-care practice is the best empath energy shield around!
Understand the healer inside you and what it craves.
People who are naturally strong in the healer archetype feel very on purpose and joyful when they are helping. Healers want to make other people, institutions, culture, and the world healthier.
You can put this urge to use by taking a class on energy work, counseling, nutrition, or any other topic that wakes up the healer in you. You can also volunteer with animals, nature, or humans that need healing to honor, develop, and explore this important part of you.
Tanya Carroll Richardson is a professional intuitive who has given readings to thousands of clients all over the world. She’s the author of nine nonfiction books including Empath Heart, Angel Intuition, Are You an Earth Angel?, and Self-Care for Empaths. Tanya has an annual calendar, A Year of Self-Love, and two oracle decks, Awakening Intuition and Grief, Grace, and Healing.