IVF Can Be Emotionally & Physically Taxing: 5 Things That Can Help 

In the U.S., IVF use has more than doubled over the past decade and now accounts for approximately 2.6% of all births annually, according to a report from The Society of Reproductive Medicine. In total, IV has helped conceive more than 10 million babies globally—helping parents of all kinds realize their dream of starting a family.

IVF can be a miracle for the families who find success—but that doesn’t mean it comes easy. The journey to parenthood can be long, emotionally draining, and physically taxing. And for far too many women, it can also be incredibly isolating.

Recently, I spoke with Jessel Taank, entrepreneur and star of The Real Housewives of New York City, about why she decided to open up about her IVF experience on national television—and how she’s using her platform to create more support for others going through it.

“IVF gave me the family I had always dreamed of, but the journey was far from easy,” said Taank, a mother of twins, in a statement with Fertility Out Loud. “By sharing my experience, I hope to help other women feel seen, supported, and empowered to speak openly about theirs.” 

“I truly believe that hearing other women’s stories—what worked for them, what didn’t—was my main source of comfort while going through it,” she says.

“I spent a lot of time deep in Reddit forums, reading about medications, dosages, protocols—all the details people were kind enough to share. But you really have to dig for that information; it’s not all in one place,” she says. 

This is why she was so compelled to work with Fertility Out Loud—she wants to help create a resource she didn’t have at the time. 

IVF may be becoming increasingly more accessible, but for many it’s still shrouded in mystery. This lack of information can mean women going through it feel they don’t have the resources they need to feel empowered. 

“There was a massive lack of information when I was going through the process. You put so much trust in doctors and people in the medical field—you assume they know what they’re doing and take what they say at face value,” says Taank. 

“I didn’t do my own research, and that’s one of my biggest regrets,” she says. “If you go into that office armed with information, you’re in a position to actually change the outcome of your IVF cycle. I truly believe that.”

Physicians, too, encourage you to come armed with information about your options. After all, knowledge is power. 

Early on in her journey, Taank asked a question that many women do: Does nutrition or lifestyle actually impact IVF outcomes?

“I asked my first IVF doctor if diet, nutrition, and vitamin intake affected the results of the cycle, and the answer was ‘no.’ That was a huge mistake to listen to, because I truly believe things like sleep, hydration, and overall lifestyle directly affect egg quality and how your body responds to the hormones and medications,” says Taank.

Her experience taught her the hard way: taking a whole-body approach to fertility isn’t just helpful—it’s essential.

IVF often asks you to let go of control—and that’s no small ask.

“I’m so used to being in control of results. If you work hard, you get what you want—that’s how I was brought up,” says Taank. “But with IVF, the outcome isn’t guaranteed, and that was the most taxing part for me: knowing that no matter what I do, the results are going to be what they are. There’s nothing I can do to change that.”

It’s a mental shift many high-achieving women struggle with—and one that can feel especially disorienting in such an emotional context.

The process of IVF and the journey into motherhood can be a disorienting time—one marked by massive identity shifts. As any new mother discovers: It often feels like you’ve lost pieces of yourself along the way.

“Socializing, meeting new people, and networking is really important to me. As a woman, you don’t want to lose your identity when you have kids—you want to stay true to who you are and keep nurturing your interests and hobbies in whatever way you can,” she says. 

How Taank manages? She leans on one of the most important well-being tools humans have: Each other. Research shows that spending time socializing doesn’t just improve mood—it has noticeable health benefits like lower cortisol, improved cardiovascular health, and improved longevity markers.