If love is going wrong everything else seems wrong, too, doesn’t it?
Before you answer, I’m not talking about romantic love here. I'm not suggesting it’s the be-all, end-all of happiness as popular culture would lead us to believe. It’s more than possible to have a great, rich life without romantic love. Let me say that again: It’s more than possible to have a great, rich life without romantic love.
Two decades as a psychologist have taught me that life actually offers us three great loves. These three big loves are our best hope for creating a fulfilling and meaningful life, inside and out.
Pursuing these three loves creates a framework through which you will find fulfillment, purpose, and joy. The three loves I'm talking about are love of self, love of purpose, and love of others.
You see, love isn’t this uncontrollable, random mystery. Love—indeed, all emotion—has its own logic; it just isn’t the linear logic our intellect employs. Love also has methods—ways to be, ways to live.
I’ve learned that when we clear away the distractions, it’s clear that our life’s journey is ultimately an epic treasure hunt for these three loves of our lives. They encompass what we seek, who we want to be, and how we want to feel. Life is a process of developing the skills, wisdom, and awareness to discover and revel in these loves. At the end of our time on earth, it’s unlikely anything will matter to any of us but these three things. So, why waste time looking elsewhere for fulfillment? You are the source of each of the big three loves. Let them be your compass every day of your life.