Every single person on the planet fears not being enough: not good enough, not hot enough, not funny enough, not confident enough, the list goes on. This fear of not being enough isn't created equal for all of us, but it's always lurking somewhere nearby, waiting to rear its ugly head. We’ve hypnotized ourselves into believing that our worthiness is measured by whether or not he calls, if she loves us, if we get that job, that accolade, or that "like."
Seth Godin nailed it when he said that self-esteem is a choice. Your self-worth is not a symptom of something you achieve, and no one can give it to you. Success can’t give it to you; your lover can’t either. Building your self-worth is your own job, and frankly there’s no job that's more important. If our bodies are our houses, then tending to our worth is like furnishing them. It’s also making the bed, cleaning the kitchen, wiping the dust off your books. You either choose it or you don't.
There are many ways to build your self-worth, but one of the most important ways is developing crafty ways of habitually avoiding it. This article is not about cultivating fearlessness; it’s simply about changing the meaning of what failure has for you. The advice I'm about to give you is the same advice I’ve given every single person I’ve ever coached on matters of career, love, and life. These tips are laws I live by, which means I coach myself on failure daily. Yes, daily. Here's how to evolve your relationship with failure and, ultimately, evolve your relationship with yourself: