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7 Ways To Connect To Your Sexual Energy

Martha Lee, PhD
December 13, 2014
Martha Lee, PhD
Written by
December 13, 2014

We come from sex. Our sexual energy is our life force energy. Open and strong sexual energy contributes toward our vitality, creativity and sense of well-being.

While our sexual desires may be a natural part of who we are, our ability to express our sexuality is often learned. The understanding of and use of our sexual energies is not common knowledge.

These are seven different ways you can connect with your sexual energy:

1. Connect with your core.

Rub your palms together, pull them about one inch apart and feel the energy surging between them. Place your thumbs on your belly button and lay them over your stomach in the shape of a heart. Feel the heat from your palms radiating over your stomach, and breathe. This is the center of your being, and a big part of where your sexual energies lie.

2. Try self-pleasure.

Touch yourself in ways that feel good to you. There are no right answers. You can try long strokes and short caresses, kneading, patting, tickling, tapping. Clockwise. Counterclockwise. Touch yourself in places that feels good to you — from your hair, face, ears, neck, chest, breasts, nipples, genitals, thighs, legs, down to your toes.

3. Vary your touch.

When you touch yourself, increase or decrease the speed, pressure and rhythm of your touch. Use sex toys or props consisting of fabrics, feathers or the like if you wish. Self-pleasure is about pleasing you and no one else — so don't be afraid to try out lots of new things.

4. Experiment with moisture.

This includes use of your own saliva, personal lubricants or oils. Be creative with your senses. You can always use a tissue or wet wipe to clean up, or simply head for the shower.

5. Move!

Movement helps us to reconnect with our bodies. Exercise and dance are fun ways to return to your body that aren't explicitly sexual. Yet moving, sweating and feeling our heart beats connects us with our deepest life force, our sexual energy,

6. Make sounds!

Hum, whistle or sing. Yawn, groan, sigh or shout. Make sounds and feel sound energies vibrating within and out your body. Like movement, sounds are a very elemental way for us to reconnect with our being.

7. Breathe.

Your breath moves toward your body each time you breathe. Connecting with your sexual energies can be as simple as turning your attention inward and just noticing the way your breath. Now, deepen your breath. The deeper you breathe, the more you feel.

What do you think of these seven ways? Do you have thoughts and ideas about what else could work effectively? Share! With intention and practice, your awareness of your sexual energies will increase, as well as your capacity to have more pleasure in your life.

Martha Lee, PhD author page.
Martha Lee, PhD

Martha Tara Lee is Founder and Clinical Sexologist of Eros Coaching. She is a certified sexologist with a Doctorate in Human Sexuality. She provides sexuality and intimacy coaching for individuals and couples, conducts sexual education workshops and speaks at public events. She is the host of weekly radio show Eros Evolution on OMTimes Radio, and author of the book Love, Sex and Everything In-Between. For more, visit or email