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5 Things No One Wants To See In A Yoga Class (Funny)

Jenn Kashiwa
September 23, 2013
Jenn Kashiwa
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September 23, 2013

As yoga grows in popularity, there will be some clashes between the advanced practitioner and the newbie. This is a community, after all, and of course we want more yogis, but ...

Sometimes, your day has drained your tolerance already and you just need to spend an hour breathing and flowing with no drama.

If you notice any of these scenarios entering class, you can quickly move your mat, or prepare yourself to practice with your eyes closed.

1. The Guy Wearing Runner’s Shorts.

"Athletic apparel" is a broad category for clothing, but garments are made sport-specific for a reason ... for coverage of your bits. What’s normally meant to help with “ventilation,” this sparse crotch in downward dog or in a cat-cow series will be a horrific display of the gonads.

2. The Girl Wearing a Swimsuit.

No one heads to yoga to get a lesson in gynecology. Ever! This garment doesn’t have the elastic wherewithal to stay put, especially when it gets wet. Leotard? Yes! Swimsuit? No!

3. Athlete’s Foot.

You see it coming from across the room, on the loose is that white, dry, mess-of-a-foot walking across the community mats. Having a fungus ablaze on your feet is just as bad as sneezing in someone’s face. It’s highly contagious. Avoid at all costs having their infected metatarsals graze your space when you flip into a wild thing or fallen triangle.

4. Couples.

Somehow, caught in the throes of romantic bliss, these duos forget yoga is meant to be a solitary practice as they whisper and chat incessantly; sometimes drowning out the teacher's directions. The only person who should be talking during class is the instructor.

5. The Falling Inversion.

It’s going to happen. That one person who follows her ego and kicks up into a headstand. If you see flailing, move your inversion to the back or the middle of your mat. Worst-case scenario, you take the wall for once.

Jenn Kashiwa author page.
Jenn Kashiwa

Jenn is a freelance writer, yogi, and pop-culture enthusiast. She writes about her lessons on learning to live more consciously, wholly, and lovingly on her website.