Often, he'd declare that he was part of The Force. Yes, I'm talking about Star Wars. And said he was a beacon of spirituality.
Yet, he'd also justify his bad behavior with, "The world is f***ed up, so there's no point." While my friends and I were actively striving to create a life that's personally meaningful, my ex would moan about how screwed up the world is and how there was no point in creating change. He said that my work as a therapist, operating within the capitalist system, was fundamentally unspiritual.
Not too long ago, a friend of mine wrote, "If you are not part of the solution, then most likely you will be precipitated out into a layer of debris and sediment on the bottom."
As I spoke to and worked with other people who had been involved with spiritual narcissists, it hit me just how tiring it is to be entrenched in seemingly endless negativity.
So, continue being the solution. Detox your life of debris and sediment.
It doesn't matter if this narcissist is your lover, friend, or teacher. Wearing saffron robes doesn't make you a good person.
I first met my narcissist when I was an impressionable 21-year-old. He said all the right things. So, despite my gut screaming at me that something was not right, my head wanted to think that he was a kind, spiritual person. So I made excuses for him.
If there is a spiritual narcissist in your life, think about the context in which you met him.
Jonathan explains that spiritual narcissists inhabit a world where people are trying to be more forgiving and understanding and where they're trying to learn—which makes people in this world especially permeable to influence.
Moreover, he says that "it's particularly hard to recognize because they can be so smooth and convincing—an Ubud-going person who can tell you about your chakras. They understand you. You've never had anyone listen to you this way before."
When we are young or have experienced significant upheaval (such as moving countries or divorce), we become especially vulnerable to this captivating, dynamic influence.
We must forgive ourselves for this.
As time passed and most of my anger dissipated, I came to acknowledge that, in a roundabout way, my spiritual narcissist was actually a teacher.
In Michelle Hebbard's words, "They are here to teach us to love ourselves, and that no one is coming to save us but ourselves."