I failed in my marriage. I wasn't the best husband. I took my relationship for granted; I didn't put much effort into it.
I never thought we needed to put time into building the relationship; I regularly threatened to end the relationship and I didn't believe in compromises.
As you can imagine, when our marriage came to an end, I had a lot of reflection and self-discovery to do.
Only when our relationship ended could I get really put the necessary time and energy into getting to know myself. As my life fell apart and the tsunami of divorce shook me to the core, I reflected upon and noticed many of my immature tendencies and behaviors during the marriage.
As time passed, I got more clarity. Without a relationship serving as a distraction or a red herring in my quest for self-understanding and awareness, it all became obvious.
Of course, once I realized I had been the impediment and destructive force in my own marriage, a slew of other feelings swept in: guilt, regret and failure.
How had I let this happen? What was I thinking?
Feelings of inadequacy and failure consumed my life. My immaturity and misbehavior in my marriage caused me to become angry and frustrated with myself. I thought about all the things I had done wrong and how misguided I had been.
These feelings of failure and disappointment became a heavy burden. How long would I hold on to these feelings of regret and disappointment? When would I be able to let go of them so I could move on with my life?
I realized that moving on meant I had to forgive myself. Yes, I had screwed up. No, I didn't know what I was doing but that didn't mean I had to carry around this disappointment and guilt forever.
If you've failed in any part of your life and must start over, start by forgiving yourself for your past mistakes. Here's how to get there.