In this post, Shelly Bullard gives us a peek into the realities of a sacred relationships. To get more of Shelly’s insights, register for her free webinar: How to Attract Next-Level Love & Have the Best Relationship Ever. It’s all about how to attract an amazing partnership and how to keep your love alive once you have it. Then, stick around as she answers all of your love questions in a live chat.
A sacred relationship is a relationship in which we are inspired to see the divine in another person, to experience oneness through the union of two.
We become ready for this sacred relationship at a very particular time in our lives—a time when we awaken to the sacredness within ourselves.
When you come to realize that you're not just a body—that you are, in fact, the essence of love and truth—a deep desire to know yourself as love, and to experience love in your relationships, comes forth. And so, the desire for a sacred relationship is born.
Below are four truths about a sacred relationship that will guide you to the union we're all seeking. These truths will point you back to who you really are… They'll point you back to the essence of sacredness itself.
1. A sacred relationship is not what you think it is.
Sacredness is not a concept, which means it has very little to do with the analytical mind. In fact, when the mind tries to "understand" sacredness (or God, the Universe, the Infinite), it's likely to short circuit a little.
That's because the mind operates in duality—from the perception of separation. Sacredness, still exists beyond separation. Beyond the mind…beyond rational thinking.
Sacredness is felt experience. It's a knowing deep within, a knowing of who you really are.
All concepts related to sacred relationships are just that: concepts. The mind loves to categorize and define good, divine, spiritual connections, but this is duality in action (saying "this is good; this is bad"). It misses the whole point.
If a sacred relationship is anything, it's everything! It doesn't look a certain way—it looks like what's showing up in front of you right now. It doesn't get more sacred than that!
Nothing will take the sacredness out of a relationship faster than definitions and concepts. They send you into an ego state, blinding you from the divinity of the present moment. Sacredness can only be found when we step out of the theoretical and into the now.
2. A sacred relationship is not always what you want.
We can sometimes confuse "spiritual" or "sacred" with "exactly what I want." It's understandable. Of course we want it to be exactly what we want. But that's not what sacredness is…
Sacredness is the experience of no division. No resistance to what is. No tension. Full acceptance.
The peace that surpasses all understanding appears when we stop fighting against what is. In a sacred relationship "being with what is" is something you get to practice. A lot.
This means dropping your resistance to whatever comes up in the relationship. You don't have to like it and you don't have to be on board with it. But if you truly understand sacredness, you know that nothing can appear in your reality without you inviting it in. Sacredness arises when you get curious about the patterns, energies, emotions, thoughts, and experiences that show up when you bond to another person. This leads you to understanding yourself in a deeper way.
Remember that sacredness in a relationship doesn't come from feeling good. It comes from the fact that a relationship is a reflection of you.
3. A sacred relationship reflects your own embodiment of sacredness.
We see sacredness when we're embodying sacredness. We see wholeness, love, fulfillment, and completion when we're embodying these qualities ourselves. And we see separation (limitation, competition, and contempt) when we're embodying separation.
You see through the eyes of what you are.
The more committed you are to sustaining your inner connection to sacredness, the more you'll attract sacredness in your relationships. As your love grows, so will the love that appears in your life. It's a very simple equation.
People who are looking for a sacred relationship but "can't find one" are looking through the eyes of separation. If you're not experiencing sacredness, connection, or fulfillment in your life, the place to look is not in another person; it's within yourself.
Once you realize that sacredness, first, is within you, deep, loving relationships start to come in. By living from the sacredness that you are, it becomes easy to see that everything is a perfect reflection of you.
4. All relationships are sacred.
OK, we've all heard this spiritual jargon before—all relationships are sacred. But as I said in the first point, this isn't a concept or theory. It's a truth we can understand using our deeper knowing. Here's what it means:
Everything in existence is an expression—a dance, a movement—of Life itself. This is the same as saying everything is an expression of Source (of God, of Spirit). We all come from the same Source of energy.
This Source—or us—happens to express itself in a lot of different ways. All ways, in fact.
Happy, sad. Honest, dishonest. Connected, distant. Present, checked out. All are expressions of the same Source, each doing its own unique dance.
A mistake we can make when it comes to sacredness is to think it only ever feels good. But this isn't the case.
Yes, some expressions of sacredness are more conscious than others; some are more aware, loving, and caring. But that doesn't make them more sacred.
Sacredness is All.
Because of this, there could never be a relationship that isn't sacred, one that's a mistake, or one that shouldn't have happened.
They're all sacred. They're all a reflection of you.
A relationship is a unique opportunity to see yourself through a person you love. If you can appreciate and accept this relationship for exactly what it is—glorious, dynamic, challenging, beautiful, exalted, wounded, and oh-so-human—then swept away by the majesty of a sacred relationship is exactly where you'll be.