Imagine you’ve been confronted by your partner about some behavior. Your natural response is to tense up and become defensive as you deny, dismiss, blame, and justify, so you won’t be held accountable.
But you don’t have to do that. You have a choice. You can use your energy to fight off the accusation, or you can show some humility, change your mindset, and understand that your behavior is damaging the relationship.
Forty-two percent of users of relationup (an app that provides live relationship advice via chat) seek out help because their well-intended conversations get derailed by defensiveness.
There is a four-step process for improving your ability to communicate about topics that trigger you. The outcome of these conversations is always for you and your partner to feel more connected, no matter the solution you choose.