The toughest part, though, is when you catch me off-guard. When I am finally in a moment of not thinking about my infertility, and I'm suddenly jolted back into reality when you say, “I’m pregnant!”
After two years, I truly cherish the moments when I'm not living in my infertility. I feel normal and am actually able to have a “good day." When I hear you're pregnant, I get a pit in my stomach and immediately feel panicked because I'm not there yet. I suddenly start to think, “Oh my God, I'm running out of time!”
My moment of peace is interrupted and that moment often doesn’t return. It’s not your fault. I am not mad at you. I am just reminded of my own reality—a reality that I'm trying to escape for just a moment.
Fortunately, infertility has made me stronger in some ways. Although it's been by far the toughest thing I've ever had to go through, I know myself well. I know I will be okay no matter what happens. I want you to know that.
Overall, I am happy for you. I want you to be a good mom. I want you to cherish your miracle. But most of all, if you are my friend, I want you to never allow my infertility to consume me or change who I am.
So, please believe me when I say I am happy you’re going to be a mama.
Dr. Shannon M. Clark is the founder of the pregnancy and fertility site BabiesAfter35.com.