The Secret To Finding "The One"

Marriage and Family Therapist By Shelly Bullard, MFT
Marriage and Family Therapist
Shelly Bullard, MFT, is a marriage and family therapist with a holistic and spiritual approach to relationships. She has worked with thousands of clients on improving their relationships with others and themselves.

We're all on a mission to find "The One." That perfect partner who makes us feel enlightened, happy and whole from the inside-out.

Well, I have some good news for you: That person exists.

The secret to finding him or her? You're it.

Yes, I said YOU. You are the person that you find completion with. You are the person that you find passion, love and beauty with. You are "The One" for you.

When you finally realize this, you'll align yourself to finding the most amazing relationship with another person, too. Let me explain.

Many of us are seeking "The One" because we feel like something's missing in our lives. There's a hole, a sense of incompletion, a void that needs to be filled.

The logical way we deal with this is by looking for the perfect fit "out there." We may find people or things to fill this void, but the satisfaction is only temporary. Eventually we return to feeling like something is missing.

The reason we do this is the ego.

We all have two selves: a complete self (the Higher Self, the true self) and an incomplete self (the ego). Your incomplete self, the ego, is the part of you that feels like something is missing. It tells you, "What you want is out there. Go get it." When we're identified with the ego, this message is playing silently in our heads all the time. We listen to the voice and the search is on!

We chase. We grasp. We cling. We long. We hide. We hope. We pray. We fill.

And still we're not satisfied. Not for long, anyway. The nature of the ego is to feel incomplete, so anytime you listen to it's message ("the answer is out there"), you're bound to feel incomplete, too.

Luckily, there's another self that identifies with wholeness, love, abundance and happiness within. This is your Higher Self and when you connect with it, you'll feel these qualities, too.

So how do you do that? Simply go within to find the truth.

The Higher Self is found through quiet reflection and listening to your inner voice. Meditation, yoga, journalling and walks in nature are just a few ways that you can sink into the connection with your Higher Self. You'll know that you've found it if it feels like home, a long exhale, a "finally."

The more you practice connecting to you Higher Self, the more you become identified with it and less so with the ego. The message of the ego fades away and you feel, with every fabric of your being, that you have finally found "The One."

But that's just the beginning. Because one of the most beautiful aspects of finding "The One" is when you do, you become prepared to find the most amazing relationship with another person, too.

We attract to us what we are on the inside. By practicing the connection to your Higher Self, you become fulfilled, happy, gorgeous and complete from the inside-out. Your true self shines through! This shifts your entire dynamic in relationships. Suddenly, potential partners that you're attracted to (and that are attracted to you) are fulfilled from the inside-out, too.

This makes for a beautiful dance of love rather than the push-pull feeling the ego produces in relationships. By finding the answer inside yourself, the compulsion to "get" and "demand" things from others softens and you find yourself enjoying relationships as a bonus in you life, not something you NEED. The truth is, anytime you demand something from someone else it simply means you've fallen out of love with yourself.

It is absolutely possible to be deeply, incredibly fulfilled in both your life and your relationships at the same time — you just need to connect with your Higher Self. When you finally do, there's no doubt in your mind that you've found what you've been seeking the whole time. It just turns out that "The One" is you.

Please leave a comment below telling us what practices connect you to "The One" (this can be anything that makes you feel like you're shining from the inside-out). This will help others understand how they can find "The One," too.

And if you'd like more secrets about how to connect to the love within you to create the greatest relationship of your life, get a FREE copy of my eBook by signing up here.

Shelly Bullard, MFT
Shelly Bullard, MFT
Shelly Bullard, MFT, is a marriage and family therapist with a holistic and spiritual approach to...
Read More
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Shelly Bullard, MFT
Shelly Bullard, MFT
Shelly Bullard, MFT, is a marriage and family therapist with a...
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