Where Skin Care Meets Behavioral Science: 4 Tips To Be Less Angry At Your Skin

We know skin care results are not immediate. And yet, it's common to feel frustrated and, well, angry when results take time.

I know this feeling all too well: Recently, I woke up to a cystic spot on my jaw, which I inherently know has no quick fix. After gently tending to the blemish the best I could, I went to bed praying my new friend would be gone in the a.m. (or at least smaller in size)—only to find it just as puffy and inflamed as the night before. The hot rush of anger caught me a little off-guard: I take painstakingly good care of my skin, I couldn't help but self-criticize. So why aren't I seeing results? 

It's something we've discussed time and again at mbg: Because your skin is outward-facing, it's often seen as a means to an end rather than the complex, dynamic organ that it is. So many of us talk about "good skin" and "bad skin," but we don't hold any other organs to this standard—we don't typically discuss, for instance, "good bladders" and "bad bladders." Skin, on the other hand, has these strong aesthetic ties, again since it's put on display.

"That doesn't make you shallow to have these fears," says clinical psychologist Perpetua Neo, DClinPsy. "You are allowed to have these concerns and doubts," but it helps to understand the why behind those feelings. 

First and foremost, it's important to know what your skin is trying to tell you—whether it's not fond of a certain product or regimen, or if there could be any underlying issues beneath the surface. But sometimes? You just break out, or you experience a flare-up, even though you're doing all the right things. 

In those moments, managing the stress that stems from self-criticism is key—and since research has shown psychological stress can translate into physical inflammation of the skin1, it may even help your skin woes in the long run. 

We're not here to tell you that you shouldn't ever get frustrated with your skin. Rather, it's important not to berate yourself for having those feelings or try to suppress them—according to Neo, acknowledging your anger without judgment can actually help release the feeling in the long run. "That takes away its power over you," she says. 

As we mentioned, your skin is a living, functional organ—and it does so much to protect you. "The skin not only gives clues into what's happening beneath the surface in terms of immune function, nutrition, oxidative stress, and metabolic issues, to name a few, but it's the body's first line of defense against infection, environmental stressors, and loss of nutrients and water," board-certified dermatologist Keira Barr, M.D., once told us. "The skin microbiome is constantly interacting with our environment and works to support our health by protecting against infection, influencing the immune response, protecting against UV radiation, and helps provide nourishment to the skin cells." 

"Have objective markers on how things are evolving, even if slowly," says Neo. See, achieving goals—no matter how small—sends a surge of dopamine to your brain; neurologists even recommend making daily checklists so you can knock off smaller wins and feel satisfied.