It's Possible To Become Emotionally Unavailable Years Into A Relationship — Here's Why

Dating emotionally unavailable people can be a truly draining experience. When a person is emotionally unavailable, it means that they're unwilling or unable to manage the emotional aspects of a relationship.

Openly sharing their feelings or encouraging you to share yours is not on their agenda, so it can be difficult to know where you stand with them. Emotionally unavailable people often fear or see little value in emotional intimacy—so expecting emotional depth and support from them can be unrealistic.  

It's not always easy to spot an emotionally unavailable person at the start of a romantic relationship, but signs often begin to appear shortly after the honeymoon phase. So what happens when the person you carefully chose and cultivated a relationship with for years begins to show signs that mirror emotional unavailability? Is it possible for a person who showed no signs of being emotionally unavailable for years to change over time? And if it does occur, is it just a phase, or could it be a permanent change?

Despite the consistency your partner may have shown throughout the years, it is possible for them to become emotionally unavailable. Over time, emotionally available partners can become less present, even after years of being consistent. They may have proved that they are capable of managing and sharing both your feelings along with their own, but it's not a guarantee that they will always be emotionally present.

An emotional injury occurs after a perceived negative interaction between partners. Occasionally having disagreements or hurting each other's feelings is a normal part of long-term relationships, but if any hurt feelings are left unattended to, it can cause resentment to build over time.

If you've found an emotionally available partner who consistently shares, explores, and expresses feelings with you, then it's important to reciprocate. It can be easy to slip into a comfort zone when you're feeling so well cared for. However, emotionally available partners usually expect as much energy and effort from their partner as they pour in.

Grief is a normal reaction to loss or change. In addition to death, career changes, or unemployment, health changes, major moves, and relationship shifts can all trigger grief.

Emotionally available partners may check out in ways you've never experienced before while grieving a loss or life change, so be sure to look for any shifts that could potentially cause them to be less emotionally present. While there is no time limit for grief, your partner's lack of availability may only last for a season.  

All relationships evolve, as well as the behaviors that partners exhibit toward each other over time. If your partner has been consistently available to meet your emotional needs over the years but falls short for a season, it's likely that there's an explanation for the shift in their behavior.