How Empaths Can Empower Themselves To Choose Between Feeling & Observing

In my book Self-Care for Empaths, I explain how learning about these two techniques allows you to feel empowered about—not at the mercy of—your sensitivity. Here is an overview of what each option—feeling or observing—is like for empaths and how to practice them.

Opening up to feel means feeling the energies and emotions of others so intimately it's as if the energies and emotions of others are your own. If you're with a friend celebrating a big win, or reading about something tragic in the news, and you feel emotional changes in your system like suddenly feeling elated around your friend or experiencing a lump in your throat or tears in your eyes while following the news, you are opening up to feel. Watch for changes in your energy body too—like the energy around you becoming thicker or heavier or having the energy become lighter or more peaceful.

Is your heart going out to someone or a group of people? Your heart energy allows you to feel deeply compassionate for others, as opposed to intellectualizing what is happening. Your emotions will inform your opinions and thoughts when opening up to feel.

There are four main psychic pathways. When you open up to feel, you engage the feeling psychic pathway, which all empaths are naturally strong in. Intuitive hits will come through feelings—energetic, emotional, and even physical (like chills or any other brief physical sensation).

If you have been opening up to feel joyful emotions or warm energy, your energy body will still be buzzing for a while. If you were opening up to feel into individual or collective trauma, you will still feel heartache or drained for a bit afterward.

You'll notice that people could feel anxious or relaxed, for example, but instead of feeling it in your own system, you will be registering it intellectually. Choosing to or automatically going into witnessing energy does not make you cold or unfeeling. When others are feeling very intense, sometimes the best way to support them is from a more neutral place. Intense energy, even when it's challenging, can be very attractive and alive. With witnessing energy, you are surfing around or on top of intense energy waves.

Instead of wanting to change someone else's emotion, relate to their emotion, or feel with them, you are giving them space to have their own emotional experience. Name their emotion to stay in witnessing energy, like thinking, "My boss seems really aggravated today" or "My friend seems pumped and inspired."

Witnessing energy is remaining mindful of how your invisible yet very real energy body is separate from someone else's. Imagine your energy body—which extends past and is much larger than your physical body—shrinking back into your physical body. Imagine open space between your energy body and someone else's, whether you are interacting in person or over the phone, on video, or over email. I encourage empaths to create a sanctuary at home, but there is also a sanctuary inside yourself you can retreat to anytime with witnessing energy.

Claircognizant intuitive hits often arrive in your mind as out-of-the-box thoughts fully formed, as opposed to thoughts you logically strategized your way to. Large chunks of complex information can be downloaded instantly into your brain with claircognizance, just like information can be downloaded quickly to a computer.

There is no right or wrong choice, and ultimately an empath's life demands balance—including a balance of opening up to feel or engaging witnessing energy to observe.