A Tantric Expert's Secrets To Loving Your Body No Matter What

Question: My boyfriend knows that I have body insecurities — especially about my butt. But, he's not helping me feel any better. I've told him again and again how I feel. All I ask is that he compliment me. This weekend, I woke up to find him watching a Beyoncé video. I don't want to wake up to Beyoncé's perfect butt. She's the most beautiful woman in the world, so of course that makes me feel insecure. I stormed out of the room because I was so upset. I feel like he should know not to throw that in my face. All he had to do is say that my butt is as good as Beyoncé's or that I look as good as she does.

At the risk of sounding insensitive to your feelings ... Listen, girl — nobody looks as good as Beyoncé. Period. Let's get that out of the way.

Beyoncé is a beautiful woman from the inside out. And while a lot of her beauty comes from inner confidence, there are also the best makeup artists, great lighting, and often Photoshop helping her create that perfect image you envy.

Not to take away from Queen Bey's innate beauty, but the images most of us see (and obsess over) are perfect because of retouching. Even videos can be retouched to make skin look good or to make you look taller and thinner. I'm not saying Beyoncé is all Photoshopped. I'm just saying comparing yourself to any image in the media is not a fair fight.

First, you just need to own it. By that I mean just love yourself the way you are right now. And if the way you are right now is not what you perceive as your best, take steps to work harder to achieve what you want.

I give you a lot of credit for acknowledging your insecurity. It takes a strong woman to admit that. But, I must tell you, this is not about your boyfriend. This is an issue of you not loving yourself. I have news for you: You need to toughen up. The world is not going to change to work around your insecurities, but you can fix this yourself. No one can make you secure but you.

Ever notice how some women who might not be technically gorgeous by media standards, or aren't in the best shape, still exude confidence and sexiness? It's because they don't rely on their looks to feel confident, loved, worthy, or sexy. They rely on more important things like being a good person, working hard at their job, giving back to their community, and living a kind life.

The tantra breathing technique Sound Breath is a good place to start. Stand up with your hands in fists and your arms overhead in the shape of a hockey goal above your head as you inhale. On the exhale, you pump your arms down to your sides and exhale with an audible, strong breath that almost sounds like you're saying, "HUH!"

When I turned 40, I could've spent time complaining about what younger models look like on magazine covers, but instead I learned to love myself as I am. I put my big girl pants on. I worked out more, I ate healthier, and I invested in my well-being so I could continue becoming the best version of myself inside and out.

To feel like a warrior princess, try the OYoga version of mermaid pose. While in the pose, squeeze your Kegel muscles (or your "cookie" as I like to call it), thrust your pelvic bone forward while engaging your glute muscles, and visualize pulling a string from your cookie to your heart to throw the orgasmic Shakti energy over the top of your head.