The Truth About Chemistry Between Two People

Chemistry has a purpose. It's not random; it's not a fluke. There's essential information in the attraction that occurs between two people. 

It's important for us to know what chemistry is so we can use it to feel more love in our lives. Without understanding that there's a secret order to love, we feel out of control. And no one likes that.

Don't worry, you're not out of control. You're just in love. And there's a reason you feel a strong chemical attraction towards the people you do. That's what I'm going to discuss today.

I often hear people talk about chemistry as if it's a bad thing. Like we should be wary of the people we're attracted to the most. And I understand why this is a common warning: Because these people tend to bring our issues to the surface. 

It's true that strong attraction makes for a wild ride in love. But the question is: Is this really a bad thing? 

Some people will say yes. Sure, if you want life to be easy then the path of strong attraction isn't for you (Side note: Is there an easy path? I'm still trying to figure that one out). Of course, we all want love to be uncomplicated. But we are complicated! So why would our relationships be anything less? 

From a spiritual perspective, love is supposed to be a wild ride. This doesn't mean that we stick around in relationships that are abusive or feel horrible to be in. But it does mean we recognize that love will provoke us to grow into fuller versions of ourselves. And this isn't easy! 

Feelings such as of insecurity, doubt, fear, jealousy, judgement, and contempt (all ego feelings) will appear with the people we desire most. Because of this, many of us categorize these highly attractive relationships as "bad" or "unhealthy." Spiritually speaking, however, these relationships are doing what they're supposed to do — they're provoking your ego to surface so you can transform it.  

When we remember that relationships are meant to teach us growth, we approach the "bad" very differently. We know that there is a lesson in every challenge — that lesson is to regain a connection to love. 

Lessons of love take on many different forms. Sometimes reconnecting with love means leaving the relationship. Sometimes reconnecting with love means sticking around and working through the challenges. Sometimes the lesson is learning to forgive your partner. Sometimes the lesson is learning to forgive yourself. 

Yes, we all want peace in relationships; they're supposed to be blissful and loving. And when they aren't, we know we've fallen off the path of love and we have to get back on track. This is how we grow. 

Don't bypass or downplay the chemistry you feel; remember that it exists for a reason. The people you're most attracted to are your greatest teachers in love. Show up for the lessons they have for you.

Please leave a comment below about what you've learned from your relationships with the most chemistry. I look forward to hearing from you. 


Photo Credit: Shutterstock.com


To learn more about relationships, check out our video course How To Have The Greatest Relationship Of Your Life.
About the Author

Shelly Bullard, MFT is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist turned Love Coach. In her personal experience, she has transformed from feeling insecure and not good enough in relationships, to feeling incredibly full, empowered, worthy, and adored when in comes to men and romantic love. She is passionate about guiding women on a similar path -- helping those who feel disappointed and let down by love to find fullness within, making them totally irresistible to others, and life completely irresistible to them!

Her eCourse: Become His Muse: How to Inspire a Man to Fall Madly in Love With You, will launch in 2014. She offers a FREE eBook: How to Be the Most Attractive, Irresistible Version of Yourself, and works with a limited number of coaching clients per month. If you would like to work with Shelly, please contact her here.

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