The Difference Between Healthy Love and Unhealthy Love

First, I believe there are two types of love: healthy and unhealthy.

Unhealthy love is being powerless, selfish and enabling. It has no boundaries. Unhealthy love is unconditional and yet contingent. It is immature, irresponsible and dependent. Unhealthy love is urgent. There is a desperation behind it which produces manipulation and compromise of self. Unhealthy love is a pissing contest, a tug of war, a mute silence and a kick stand. It is obvious. Unhealthy love promotes the false self and stunts growth. It is a drug.

Healthy love is a choice. It is something you decide to give as a gift. It has conditions that shape the self and strengthen the other. Healthy love is feeling powerful and independent. It is grilled cheese and vegetable soup on a rainy day but not every day. Healthy love is patient, kind and accepting. Healthy love requires a tremendous amount of responsibility which involves communication on all levels and constant reflection. It is building trust, having faith and holding a commitment. Healthy love promotes growth and two strong containers. Healthy love is rare.

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About the Author

Hi, my name is John Kim and I am a licensed Marriage Family Therapist. In 2010, I started a blog. Partly to document my own journey but also to create a dialogue that may help others. Coaching people online was not my intent but by the end of that year, I had two clients.  By the end of the second year, I had coached over 100 people from all over the globe, treating individuals, couples, and facilitating groups. All from my computer. Due to the overwhelming response, I quit my 9 to 5 and opened a “public” practice. I define my practice as “public” because I do everything online, including individual sessions, couples, and group work using Google Hangouts.

Today, The Angry Therapist is not just a blog / practice, it’s a therapeutic community.  It’s a place for you to rebuild yourself through others.  Inside, you’ll find discussion forums on relationships, dating, love, career, life, as well as live online  groups you can participate in from the convenience of your home.

The Angry Therapist a multi-platform brand intersecting technology and therapy. Through a suite of technology tools, my intent is to revolutionize the therapy and mental health industry, serving as an example of how technology can expand the reach of therapist practice, and help the industry learn how it can better treat more people through use of similar tools.

My goal is for you to have support in your pocket.

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