Recently I read Joy
and was completely blown away by every page, every sentence, every word and every letter. Through his book, I found so many subjects worth sharing with everyone in my life, but more importantly with myself. It seemed every part of his book I could relate to immediately. One part I would like to share with all of you is the difference between being lonely and being alone.
When you are lonely, you are looking for someone or something to fill your time, to fill the void in your schedule and to fill a void in your heart. You are longing for something that does not exist anymore, or maybe never existed in some cases. You hope for company and feel depressed when you are by yourself. Loneliness is a negative state of mind where you are always longing for the other. Never satisfied being by yourself and always looking elsewhere for fulfillment
Alone is a positive state of mind, a very fulfilling place to be. It is a state where you are always and constantly delighted in yourself.
It is blissful, happiness
, content with nothing, and peaceful. You do not rely on anyone but yourself to feel alone, and you are happy being alone. You have found yourself, and you are living happily with yourself.
Now that we have the differences out of the way, what does this mean to you?
Lonely is a feeling you would probably come up against right after a break up, divorce, separation, distance, etc. The contact you had with another is no longer there, but you are wishing and longing for it. You are wanting it so bad that it affects you. You are lonely. The ideal next step for this time in your life is to hopefully overcome this unbearable sad feeling of being lonely, and move into a more peaceful alone. Here you find everything you need, perfectly happy to live, eat, play by yourself. Relying on only yourself, you become a more fulfilled person for you. You become everything you need for you. You are finding and defining who you are while you are alone.
Before you can start another relationship
, whether it be a friend, you must first learn the joy and see the bliss of alone. If you search for someone or something to fill the void of your loneliness, you will find the exact same thing. Another person who is lonely and looking to fill a void. No one should start a relationship of any kind while they are lonely. It is an equation for failure which will push you to start over on your own journey of loneliness. Once you are alone and are perfectly happy with your alone, it is only then that one might open their eyes to the possibility of another relationship. You will naturally be attracted to someone else who is alone. You will find an equal to you, not someone who adds or subtracts something from you. You will share so many things in common, because you overcame loneliness and found your bliss being alone. Now, you are able to share this with another who has accomplished the same.
Lonely is referred to as a bad feeling, but it is one that is worth every part of the pain to allow you to reach your alone. Here in your alone, you will find yourself, a person you may have never thought you were. A person who is capable of so many things you may have never thought possible. The answer always lies within you; your happiness, bliss, joy and nirvana are within you naturally. All we have to do is close our eyes and open up to our heart, energy and breath.