The Simple Spiritual Question That Totally Changed My Outlook

Photo: Brooke Cagle

When it comes to being the best version of myself, I’m all for throwing everything at it: swimming, Reiki, traditional therapy, art, tarot, you name it. I've incorporated new alternative therapies into my healing regimen for over a decade because, honestly, sometimes you never know what’s going to be right until you try it.

The best way to explain my quest to live in flowy goodness is to compare it to a pipe that is blocked with pebbles. This pipe represents how energy—the Universe, source, spirit, God, intuition, whatever you like to call it—works through me. By experimenting with ways to clear some of these out, I've strengthened my own intuition and found that when I ignore my instincts, well, things go downhill fast.

I’ve been gradually removing blockages stone by stone until I was finally left with one big boulder to blast through. And boom! It sure went out with a bang. A blissful, energizing bang.

A little question with a big impact.

The transformative session I speak of was a guided intuitive breathwork with Betsy LeFae. We planned to connect over Skype (she’s in LA, I’m in NY), to practiced specific breathing exercises meant to serve as an express train to intuition. I was a little nervous, though, and thoughts of "What if nothing happens? Will that mean my intuition is broken?!" raced through my mind leading up to our appointment.

Before the session, I asked Betsy how I should prepare to get the most out of it. Do I need to have specific questions ready? How many questions? Is there a format I should follow? Do I need a spreadsheet?! (Yes, you can take the girl out of finance, but you can’t take the finance out of the girl.)

Her response was simple, yet it proved incredibly powerful: "Please come prepared with what you are ready to 'drop off' and what you would like to bring in, in its place."

I had to be honest with myself and wake up to what I was actual open to and willing to let in.

It’s not uncommon in the manifesting world to focus on what you’d like to bring into your life. But the second part of Betsy's advice felt brand-new. In addition to letting go of what isn’t serving me, I needed to consciously choose what will fill the space it leaves behind. Maybe it seems obvious, but this is something I either wasn’t ready to hear in the past or hadn’t considered fully. I was always looking to make space but I hadn’t thought about what would actually fill the room I’d created. Making a list where every "drop-off" had a corresponding "let in" that added a layer of intention that I hadn’t experienced before.

Another word of Betsy’s really struck a chord with me too: ready.

What am I ready to drop off?

We all have things we’d like to move away from—limiting beliefs, pain, old hurts, tired stories—but sometimes we’re just not ready to take the leap. I had to be honest with myself and wake up to what I was actual open to and willing to let in.

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How this question can serve all of us.

What isn’t serving you and what are you willing to let go of? And what is something you’re open to putting in its place? We can probably all benefit from making such a list. Doing so can be a tricky process, so allocate some quiet time to it, and allow yourself to be honest.

I found that once I started listing attributes and feelings I wanted to bring in, it became obvious that I was living the opposite of my truth. For example, my list included bringing in more movement, action, and momentum. Funnily enough, the weeks prior I’d felt utterly paralyzed and stuck. That is what I had to let go of.

If you want to bring in more intimacy, perhaps you need to be willing to drop off the feeling of loneliness. To allow openness, maybe you need to loosen the grip on the armor and walls you easily put up.

Lastly, remember to balance this intensity with playfulness—and think big! During my exercise with Betsy, she guided me through a series of breath exercises based on these intentions, allowing my mind and body to get in sync. The experience taught me that it’s not just about trusting your gut; it’s about trusting and listening to your body and deeply connecting to it. It’s guiding you more than you know.

Once you pinpoint what exactly it is you're looking for, bring it to life with these abundance-manifesting secrets.

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