On top of that, how easy is it to be there for someone else—to support and nurture them—when you don't feel supported or nurtured? In any relationship, there are times one partner will need more patience, attention, and tenderness. If you don't have self-generated stores of confidence and love, how will you continue to share them with your partner in their time of need?
Being as spiritually, mentally, and emotionally whole as you can is the foundation of creating the happiness you seek. Love can't shine out from us unless we've cultivated it within ourselves.
At the end of a life, this truth becomes more and more evident. Those who learn it early on tend to have lives filled with deep love, great purpose, and never-ending discovery. That truth is this: We each create our own destiny. No matter what is going on in the world around you, you are in control of the world within you.
So, start with something easy, something fun. Treat yourself. Go on a vacation solo. Buy a fancy bottle of wine. Get an epic massage. Make an action plan for how you'll being pursuing that dream you've never really taken the risk to chase.
Be the kind of soul mate you hope to find. The person who will create the kind of abundance most people look for all their lives is looking back at you in the mirror.