Your ego is so vulnerable when you start to open up to another human being. You feel so tender. And before that one place gets going strong enough, you get frightened, and you pull back.
No one likes feeling vulnerable. It’s such a sticky, uncomfortable place to be. But in a mindful relationship, it’s your vulnerability that leads you to the truths that will be discovered, as you embrace the feelings that arise and let them go.
So how does one get comfortable with the feeling of being vulnerable? Practice, of course. Here’s a quick exercise to try:
Sit across from your partner and look into each other’s eyes. Silently repeat these phrases:
"My partner is open to all truth, just like me."
"My partner deserves the truth, just like me."
"My partner is vulnerable, just like me."
"My partner wants love, just like me."
"My partner wants kindness, just like me."
Try your best to maintain eye contact during this exercise. Take note of the thoughts and feelings that arise as you share this space with your partner. Open to the truths you discover about your feelings about the relationship. And, of course, about yourself.
Ultimately, mindful relationships are about creating an environment in which both people can grow. You become each other’s garden—soft and receptive—so each of you can flourish in your own way.
Hoping to welcome this kind of spiritual love into your life? These five beliefs could be holding you back.