There is a simple exercise that clearly illustrates our inseparability from life. If asked to sit down and just notice what happens, you may report an ongoing flow of sights, sounds, sensations, and breath. When asked what you are doing to make any of this happen, the obvious answer is "nothing." It becomes obvious that this dance of life is freely appearing and disappearing moment by moment.
The same is true for thinking. Thoughts appear and disappear. You might think, "I am hearing" or "I am seeing." But, upon examination, you will find that sounds, sights, thoughts, and breath simply arise, and it is only another thought that owns the process and claims, "I am making all of this happen." However, if the "I" is carefully inspected, it has no actual existence. Rather, it is a component of a fleeting thought. Further evidence of the falsity of the claim of "I" is the example of a baby. A baby is capable of seeing, hearing, breathing, and sensing before the development of language and the sense of a personal self.
It becomes clear that you are not the author or director of your life. Once you accept this, you can move away from blame, guilt, shame, and suffering. Realizing that events could not have happened differently brings an acceptance of life's unfolding, even if it is disliked. This is particularly useful when feeling shame for an undesirable action that you believe was your fault. Ask, "What would've needed to happen to have produced a more favorable result?" By repeatedly asking this question, you soon realize that a different outcome could only have happened if different circumstances and conditions had occurred, and that this possibility was never in your control to begin with.