As a relationship therapist, I receive many questions from my clients regarding how to manage an angry partner.
What do you do when your partner gets angry? Do you get angry back, or shut down and withdraw, or give yourself up, or freeze?
In this article, I’m referring to the common anger that we all sometimes express. I’m not referring to physical abuse, or to verbal or psychological abuse such as name-calling, threatening, insults, gaslighting, or to a partner isolating you. When abuse is occurring, you need to leave.
But if you're dealing with common, everyday anger, there are ways to tap into your evolved brain rather than getting trapped in your lizard brain.
Here are three questions clients have asked me about how to deal with their partner's anger, and my advice to help each of them love themselves and their partner during difficult situations: