Allison wanted what everyone wants: stability, an amazing relationship, a sense of purpose. Like most, she’d gone to therapists for the answers. But she’d been going to them for years, and at 30, she was no closer to happiness than her 20-year-old self.
She was successful, beautiful, and fit, but she just felt stuck. That’s when Allison came to me.
After sharing her story and her problems during our first session—including all the meltdowns and anxiety—Allison put her head in her hands and murmured, "I’ll always need a therapist. I’m just too much."
My response left her nonplussed. Maybe she expected sympathy; maybe she wanted me to commiserate. But that’s not what she got.
"Therapists have their place," I told her. "But it seems you’re putting the responsibility to be happy in their hands. That’s never going to work. So, why don’t you try taking responsibility for how you feel?"
She looked like she’d seen a ghost. No response. I continued:
"Starting today, you are going to take responsibility for every thought that enters your mind. You will no longer accept the negative thoughts that caused your meltdowns. Instead, you’ll choose only thoughts that benefit you. Crazy simple. Are you in?"
She shot back a determined gaze with her steel-blue eyes and nodded. "Tell me what to do," she said. Ten days later I received this email from her:
"Just wanted to let you know that I officially broke up with my therapist. Before we started working together, I had cried every single f*cking day. But that’s over. I have my life back. And for the first time in five years I’m happy. Thank you."