It wasn’t until seven years ago that I began exploring the idea of being "a healer," and it wasn't until one year ago that my healing "powers" began unleashing at warp speed.
My journey started with a simple itch to do something different. I was a 20-something working in corporate America as an event planner. On paper it was my dream job, but I was never genuinely happy. I had a very full life with lots of friends and a great family, but something inside of me never felt right. I was living in a state of anxiety. I had fear that I would be fired regularly even when I had done nothing wrong. I was constantly worried, constantly feeling guilty for seemingly no reason.
A broken foot was the sign I needed. I took a leave of absence from my job and never went back. I enrolled at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition (IIN) in NYC to become a health coach with a plan to help people like me heal. I didn’t realize it then, but helping people heal would become part of my soul's purpose. That was the beginning of my awakening.
The spiritual spiral.
I received an opportunity to cook at upscale recovery homes during my IIN program. I had never been much of a cook, but my gut was telling me that I was supposed to do this, so I agreed to a trial run. That trial run took me through the next three years of my life. I worked with one recovery group and then a second. I was cooking for clients who were recovering from food, drug, and alcohol addictions. It was my first time stepping in to be a coach and giving guidance and knowledge. Food became my first healing tool and a gift that I could share with others.
Yet even though I was more content in my work, I was still in a dark place personally. I was staying in a tumultuous relationship out of fear. I had been living two lives: sober and happy recovery worker during the day, smoking weed to numb my reality at night.
It is true; we teach what it is we need the most.
The Universe has a way of intervening in things, and eventually my ex was arrested inside my home. I remember crying on my bathroom floor, asking what I needed to do to be happy, to no longer feel like my mind was constantly racing with anxiety and fear. I didn’t want my gut, my heart, or my head to hurt anymore. I was in full surrender mode. That was the moment I first spoke to God.
I began opening up to spirituality and letting the Universe guide me. It started with the simple things—I began taking 30-day challenges, reading books, turning off the TV to listen more. I started doing much more for myself and less for others; I stopped going to bars to watch football on Sundays and instead went to sound baths. I started doing more yoga and less linear activities, I began to embrace my whole body. I began to love myself the way I taught my clients to love themselves. It is true; we teach what it is we need the most.
During this time of regrouping, I lost my best friend, I would later come to learn that he was my Twin Flame. My first love passed away after years of sobriety and addiction, and my world was turned upside down. I had just spent the last two years learning to love myself again and finding inner peace and my person was gone. In that moment I had a choice; I could go back to being that girl on the bathroom floor who was begging for help, or I could grieve for the loss and figure out the true meaning of life. I chose the latter.
After the funeral, I spent about a month in a cloud, just trying to feel and understand, and that’s when a friend called me with a plane ticket to Northern California. It took going to the West Coast and to get quiet, and I set no intention other than to take care of myself. What I thought would be a week away ended up being weeks of healing, spending time in nature, cooking for myself and feeding others from a place of love, crying a lot, asking questions. I continued my journey by completing Reiki healer teacher training, moving on to become a Holy Fire Reiki master, and launching my entire business to be in line with my soul's purpose.
The silence through the noise.
If it seems like a lot happened in a short time, it’s because it did. I am on an accelerated healing path for two reasons:
- I am open and accepting and surrender to the Universe.
- I love nothing more than helping others heal, so I am willing to dive deep into my own healing in order to help others not have to go so far into the dark.
I know this isn’t your typical "how to know you are a healer" piece, and I really can’t tell you what tools you need to become one yourself, but the power really does already lie within each of us. Trust your gut, listen to your intuition, trust your heart, and know that there is an entire world that we may not be able to see but is very much present.
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