Do You Ever 'Move On' From A Sexual Assault? I Asked A Trauma Specialist

Yes. Trauma has no time schedule. It is possible to suppress any type of trauma for any amount of time, just as well as there may be times when triggers come up that you never experienced beforehand.

There is no time frame for healing. As for things that may manifest in daily life, it can be across the board. There is no one way that it can manifest in any person. But a few things that may come up are interactions with individuals. You may be more cautious around certain types of people as well as interaction styles. The proximity of individuals to you—having people walk too close to you or touching you in a surprising matter—can be very scary and triggering. Victims may [partake] in different substances that can numb them so they do not have to deal with the traumas, such as drugs, alcohol, and/or sex.

That is an interesting question. I would say there is no magic pill that you can take to heal all of your trauma. If you are a trauma survivor, you will always be a trauma survivor. You may be able to maneuver through life in a way that feels safe, seen, and supported. But I would never tell a survivor, Let's work for you to move on from all of this. I would say, Let's work to get you to a place where you feel safe in your body.

Healing looks different for every person and comes in different times and/or in waves. When I think about healing as a survivor, I think about certain interactions being better. I think about being able to use one's voice. I think about understanding ways that receiving touch may feel good and knowing when it does not. When I think about healing for a survivor, I think about one being able to withhold their own autonomy. Healing may look like asking to be seen and heard. Healing may look like being able to be sexual again and/or in ways that you may have been scared of.

Self-care is so healing and magical. I think it is something that we often overlook because we are in a world that is always on the go. I think the best self-care techniques that we can do for ourselves often do not cost any money. One of my favorite self-care techniques is to disconnect from social media. Social media is so busy, instant, and can be retriggering. Allow yourself time to turn your phone off for a while and just spend some time with yourself and/or people whom you love and who love you in return.

Another thing I recommend to survivors is to actually listen to your body. Your body will tell you when you need to rest and when you need to eat. When these feelings come up, address them then. Do not put them off. You are allowed to take care of your temple.

Lastly, go outside! I know it's really hard to do, but spend some time in nature. There is so much healing spending time with trees, plants, and near water. Allow some of those natural vitamins from the sun and some fresh air to enter your lungs.