6 Things You Should ALWAYS Be Selfish About In Relationships

The truth is, we all have some experience with giving up too much of ourselves for the sake of a relationship. But the best relationships are a beautiful blend of giving and taking, so how do you know where to draw the line? It helps to know what you should absolutely never give up, and then work from there. So, here are six things you should never give up in a relationship:

In the first flush of a relationship, it's hard to carve out time for ourselves and the life we had (and those in it). We get caught up in the flurry of hormones that our brains release when we meet someone new. But as inevitably happens in any lasting relationship, your hormones will begin to settle down and your relationship will become less "Together 24/7" and more "Where my girls at?" While I may not go out as much as I did before, I need some lady bonding time (and some solitude and a good book with a hot bath) to make me my best self in my relationship.

You're pretty stinking fabulous. And all the glorious and unique facets of who you are should never be compromised. Relationships come and go, but you will always see your image in the mirror. And, duh, the things that captured your lover's in the first place was your special brand of awesome. So, open up to new experiences and new ideas with your partner, but only integrate and adopt those that really resonate with you.

If your relationship cuts you off from the things that make you happy, it’s time to pause. Being in a relationship should increase your happiness. It should be an opportunity to share what brings us joy with someone we care about and for them to share those things with us. But you probably won't share every single interest, and your connection should be secure enough that you have the freedom to explore and experience joy outside of your relationship, too.

Nothing is more beautiful and awe-inspiring than someone who is pursuing their dreams. I watch my husband in the backyard building our new patio, which he designed entirely on his own, and I fall more deeply in love with him. Why? Because he is pursuing his passions. He is learning and trying new things. That takes curiosity and courage—two things I find insanely attractive. And I'm not the only one. The day you give up your purpose is the day you stop becoming your best self.

My husband is an atheist and I am a mystic. But never once have I felt the need to change that. Instead he tells everyone about my many nontraditional beliefs from a place of reverence and inspiration. He loves that I'm dedicated to my spirituality and I dig that he digs that. Your faith is deeply personal and while we may see faith differently, we do not change our North Star unless something is singing to our soul.

Want more insight on whether your relationship is healthy and the reasons it might not be? Check out these seven signs you’ve found the one and learn how to rewire your brain to have a more secure attachment style.