Here’s how you know:
You feel jealous.
Your psyche sends insightful messages continually and one of the ways it tells you that you’re not living up to your potential is when the ole’ green-eyed monster rears its ugly head. Jealously crops up when you feel separate. When you feel a big, gaping divide between where you are and where you wish you were.
But the brilliant news?
This creates a great opportunity to look at the areas of your life that might need some sprucing-up.
When you’re feeling triggered, ask yourself:
- Am I playing too small?
- Is there something I wanted to accomplish and didn’t act on?
- How is fear holding me back?
The answers might blow your mind.
In the age of social media and reality celeb-ness, it’s easy to think that someone else’s (well-edited) life is so, so much better than your own. It’s not. (Remember that there’s always a ton of hard work going on behind the scenes.)
Want to turn dispiriting jealousy into a shiny positive?
1. Mentally thank that envy-inducing person for modeling their way of doing it.
Maybe they’ve found success by teaching classes and leading big seminars – but you’re a bit stage shy. That doesn’t mean you can’t teach one-on-one or mini-workshops of five people. Perhaps they’re launching themselves while maintaining a day job. It’s okay if you do that, too. Learn what you can from what they’re doing and then give it a try with your own special flavor.
2. Really, actually try your hardest.
Many of us confuse "making some kind of effort" with "trying our hardest." They’re not the same, hot stuff.
Trying your hardest means pitching the big, scary, exciting clients. It means writing and networking and promoting every week. It means following trends and advances in your industry and staying on top of them. It means mentoring and being mentored. When you really, actually try your hardest, it’s pretty hard to get jealous
. You’re too busy (and probably too successful).
3. Get grateful.
You’ve heard me say this before, and that’s because it’s true: gratitude works
. Make that list of all the great things in your life – things that other people probably envy. Your amazing, supportive group of friends. The job that lights your fire. Your amazing hair. The big ideas. List ‘em. Every last one.
Take a deep breath
, lean into it, and know that the envy will pass.
Harness it to be even more amazing than you already are.