Why You're Not Really Stuck (Even When You Think You Are)
Throughout my life the spiritual truth that has resonated with me was one of unevenness, the concept that we do not grow at the same rate in all areas of our lives. Our growth is uneven by design. Take your life and visually divide it into four major sectors: finances, work, health and relationships. Which piece dominates your daily existence?
I share Anais Nin’s belief that: “We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another, unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present.”
In my experience, sometimes when we progress in our careers and our financial health improves, our relationships tend to remain stagnant. Conversely, when we tend to spend so much time on our relationships that they consume us, our health and work stagnate. We constantly face the choice of making decisions that impact all four of these areas.
Nischala Joy Devi, interpreting Chapter 1 Verse 1 of the Yoga Sutras, says, "Our present position has been determined by the past — all those crossroads where we made decisions, each path we've taken that brought us to our life as it is. We might be able to understand how we got where we are, but what would it have been like if other options had been followed? Another choice could have radically changed the present. Perhaps we took the tried-and-true course because it seemed easiest, or safest; perhaps at the time, it just didn't seem like there was any alternative."
This function isn’t exclusive to human beings; it’s organic to nature itself. If you were to do a case study on your garden, you would observe the same plants of the same origin, planted in the same soil, producing different and uneven growth results. Yet we don't argue with nature or get upset with our tomato plants, so why expect something different of ourselves? If you chart the four life sectors (finances, work, health, relationships) on a graph and examine the past five years, the evidence will become clear. These four areas will display the ups and downs and will be far from even with one another.
If each day you strive and do your best, with the expectation that certain areas will be uneven, you'll be able to stay the course and remain motivated no matter the circumstances. It's only when we get stuck "waiting" for everything to be charted evenly to make us happy that we create our own misery. Stop waiting for a promotion before you change jobs, stop waiting to hear "I love you" from the perfect guy or girl before you move in with your partner, stop waiting to lose ten pounds before taking a yoga class. Allow for the unevenness in your evolution and it’ll bring peace, love, and happiness to you in your current state of being. Love yourself, love your day, love your life!