Values give us clarity when we have to make tough decisions in life. They guide us through challenging times. They're completely unique to us, created from our own personal experiences and beliefs.
When we aren't clear on what those values are, or what it is we're living for, we end up in sticky or dangerous situations. Here are some red flags that will help you determine if it's time reassess, and potentially change those values:
1. Something’s missing and you can’t quite put your finger on it.
You know there's more out there for you, and you believe you deserve better.
2. You’re restless.
Your attention moves from one thing to another, but your mind is always somewhere else. One day you’re motivated, and the next you’re dragging your feet.
3. Life is messy and hard.
When you try to cope with stress, things just get more complicated and difficult. You feel the tension rising and you’re not in the driver’s seat to take over the wheel.
4. You’re impulsive.
You make decisions before thinking things through. Disappointing yourself and others is a regular occurrence these days.
5. You’re haunted by your past.
Repressed memories are popping up out of nowhere. A simple comment or gesture by someone triggers you into an emotional outburst.
All of these messages are signs that it’s time to stop, take a deep breath and start digging deep! Considering what’s important to you and where you see yourself going. Values you care about might be "being a loving partner," "being a reliable friend," or "living a healthy lifestyle." When you commit to living your values, decision-making becomes clearer.
Look at all the areas of your life and write out what type of person you want to be in each domain (i.e. parent, employer, lover, daughter). Post them up somewhere in your home or office so that you're reminded of them often. If you find your values conflicted, remember the value of taking care of yourself first is always most important.