A 3am Epiphany
Recently, I had an epiphany at an unexpected moment. It was 2am on a Sunday. I was standing in a bar, watching an incredible band play. I looked around, the place was jumping, everyone was loving the music and the vibe. Lots of happy folks were drinking, dancing and having a great time.
But I wasn't feeling that stoked. I felt like I wasn't really there. Like I didn't quite fit in. Like I wasn't part of the gang.
Don't get me wrong. I had a good time. The music gave me goosebumps and made me want to dance. But I just had this feeling like I was out of place.
It wasn't until I was hopping into bed at about 3am that it hit me: I wasn't feeling crappy because I felt out of place, I was feeling crappy because I thought I "should" have been having way more fun.
I had a classic case of the shoulds. I should have let my hair down and had a few drinks, I should have been at the front dancing, I should have been a part of it all.
But as I thought about it more I realized something ...
- It's OK that I don't like super late nights
- It's OK that I don't love going out drinking
- It's OK that I could have had a heap more fun doing something else
- It's OK, because it's me.
In fact, its more than OK, it's awesome, because it's what makes me me.
The next morning, the sun was streaming into my room. It was early, and I'd had only a few hours of sleep, but I knew I needed to get into the ocean.
Yeah, it's not all that rock 'n roll, but it makes me happy.
And in that moment, I felt grateful for the lesson learned. It's so important to celebrate what makes you unique.
Forget about who you think you should, and what you should do.... think about what lights you up. And don't worry if it doesn't look like everyone else's picture.
So the next time I go see a band, I want it to be outdoors, and preferably post-surf as the sun is setting, drinking my one-and-only beer, and I'll be home by 10:30 dreaming of my early surf.