Recently, I had an epiphany at an unexpected moment. It was 2am on a Sunday. I was standing in a bar, watching an incredible band play. I looked around, the place was jumping, everyone was loving the music and the vibe. Lots of happy folks were drinking, dancing and having a great time.
But I wasn't feeling that stoked. I felt like I wasn't really there. Like I didn't quite fit in. Like I wasn't part of the gang.
Don't get me wrong. I had a good time. The music gave me goosebumps and made me want to dance. But I just had this feeling like I was out of place.
It wasn't until I was hopping into bed at about 3am that it hit me: I wasn't feeling crappy because I felt out of place, I was feeling crappy because I thought I "should" have been having way more fun.
I had a classic case of the shoulds. I should have let my hair down and had a few drinks, I should have been at the front dancing, I should have been a part of it all.
But as I thought about it more I realized something ...