Why Competition Sucks
This past weekend, I spent four days with almost 500 other holistic wellness practitioners at an incredible event called Holistic MBA Live. The room was filled with coaches, yoga teachers, doctors, teachers, lawyers and more.
We were all there for different reasons, but we all left with the same feeling: a sense of community and belonging stronger than anything any of us had felt before. At one point during the weekend, I asked one of the women how she was feeling and she said, "I never knew girls could be so nice. I always thought girls were competitive and catty."
And this is why I'm writing to you today!
Most of us grew up with competition. It's something we learned as kids, usually on the playground or in our homes to get attention from our parents. We were raised wanting to win — in school, in sports, in business, in love. Get an 'A,' get the job, get the guy, get, get, get.
Without even realizing it, we were raised with a pretty cutthroat attitude about life. There were never two first places in the spelling bee, or more than one top performer at work. If only person could win, it implied everyone else was losing. Remember that expression, "it's a dog-eat-dog world out there?' No wonder we all think life is about competition.
But what a rough way to look at life, and it's definitely not the kind of world I want to be living in!
But what I — along with 500 other powerful, intelligent, successful women — learned this past weekend is that competition gets you nowhere and is completely USELESS if you want to own your power and step into the life of your dreams.
You might be wondering how, in a room full of people, there was no competition, just love.
Here's how it works, and how you can shed competition, too:
1. Be inspired.
First things first: you have a choice. You can either look at the people you want to be like and feel jealousy, or you can feel inspiration. If you see something in someone else that you want, you're merely seeing a REFLECTION of what you already have in you. To see what someone else is doing is just a mirror of your own possibility.
The person you admire represents all that is possible for YOU! This is how we all sat in a room with no competition. The key is to see what you desire in someone else and allow that to be inspiration for you to move forward in your own greatness.
2. Take action and align.
Surround yourself with the doers and the dreamers. Surround yourself by the people whom you strive to be like, the ones who are doing it and making it happen. Surround yourself by the people who make you want to be a better, bigger version of yourself.
Find a group who inspires and stretches you to shine your light. A place where you feel safe, supported, seen and loved. I'm so grateful for my own personal community that does this for me AND I love providing this sense of safe, loving community for the women who participate in my group programs.
3. Remember that you're unique.
Your light is different than my light. The light I shine will attract certain people and the light you shine attracts certain people. Even if we do the same thing, we have unique and brilliant individual qualities that make us special.
Every single human being has a special, valuable story to tell. Your journey is unlike anyone else's. You're the only you ever born and deserve to leave your mark on the world in your unique way. You are one of a kind. You are strength, beauty and perfectly you. Stand in yourself.
So, you see how when you are inspired by others, take action to find a group that lifts you up and remember how special YOU are, there is no need for competition? It's just a beautiful journey where you find inspiration, encouragement, love and support through other people.