On Days When I Judge Myself Harshly, I Do This...
My mind gets attached to old stories. My mind remembers things it's been told about me. My mind falls into the familiar grooves of old beliefs that it once used as motivation. My mind has a tendency to forget that I am lovable—that I am love.
But, it's not my mind's fault; it's just habit. So, instead of shaming my sweet mind, I've taken to loving it more. I write letters to my mind from that heartfelt space I've learned to access through vulnerability: The space called ME.
And, I dare myself to trust me.
This letter writing practice of self-care is one of the most comforting practices I've found. Just like a yoga practice, free-writing like this allows for us to tap into the love and intuition that's already there. I hope you try it! Or, maybe just allow my letter to assuage your sweet mind...
From my heart to yours, here's my letter:
I am so sorry you are struggling. I am here. Breathe with me. I know that you feel afraid and I know you judge yourself so harshly. One day, you will learn you do not have to. In the meantime, I forgive you. I know that you learned this habit so long ago. And, I know it is not personal. I know that you love me.
I know that you are confounded by opinions. I know that these make you feel weak and insecure. You are not your judgements or comparisons. I know that you long to live in the disordered world of black and white because that’s what you learned. I forgive you. And, I want you to know that I am so proud of how you’ve actively chosen not to take that way out. Thank you for this care.
I want to remind you that you cannot fail. You cannot fail because you have me and I'll remind you that you are love. I'll remind you this today and everyday. I'll love you when you (mistakenly) make yourself wrong until you’ve learned how wrong does not exist.
Please remember my sweetie, you're doing something honest. Your vulnerability is strength, not weakness. Please feel your strength. And, please notice how I never compare you. I am your advocate, your friend, and your family. I will not leave you. I love you. I will continue to love you like this until you’ve learned to do the same.
Thank you for giving me a wonderful home. And, thank you for being open to the struggle. I cannot wait for us to celebrate your loveliness together....