How To Get Your Man To Open Up (Without Making Him Run)

Women often ask me: How do I get my guy to open up more? How do I get him to connect? How do I get him to tell me his feelings? How do I…get him to be more like you?

Easy. Stop trying to get him to do anything.

The reason trying to get someone to change doesn't work is because the underlying message is: You aren't good enough as you are. 

I'm not satisfied with you. I'm disappointed. I kind of don't like you.

Do these messages inspire you to get close? Be a better person? Be a better partner?

Not a chance in hell. These messages make you want to run the other direction. Well, the same goes for your man, too.

There is no stronger human repellent than being forced or controlled, but we do it all the time. And it really takes a toll on our relationships.

Let me tell you a little secret about how your man operates: He'll feel inspired to open up, move in closer, and connect with you if he feels accepted just as he is.

Because when we feel accepted we want to be close. That's just how it works.

So how do you stop trying to change and control him?

Simple: You accept yourself, first.

When we don't accept ourselves then we try to get people to make us feel better. We rope them into soothing us; we make them responsible for our wellbeing.

Any time you make your happiness someone else's responsibility, you'll try to control them to get what you want. This makes for a complete disaster in relationships. Because it's impossible!

He'll fail, you'll get pissed, and he'll back away. 

It happens every time.

For the sake of your relationship (and your sanity) stop trying to change him. Stop trying to get him to do things to make you feel better. Take the focus off of him and direct your attention towards improving your relationship with you.

Trust me, if you cease trying to change your man, your relationship and experience in love will change on its own. When you get comfortable with yourself, he'll definitely want to get really comfy with you, too.

Want to learn how to unlock the power of food to heal your body, prevent disease & achieve optimal health? Register now for our FREE Functional Nutrition Webinar with Kelly LeVeque.

Shelly Bullard

Shelly Bullard, MFT is a Marriage and Family Therapist, Love Coach and Spiritual Teacher. She's the author of the eBook: How to Become the Most Attractive Version of Yourself which she offers for FREE (click here to receive your free copy). She's also the instructor of the popular mbg courses: How To Become The Most Attractive Version of Yourself & How to Attract a Partner Who's Ready for Deep, Devoted Love. Shelly believes that when you access the experience of Love within yourself, your relationships become deeply fulfilling and you become the person you’re meant to be. She was named the “Love Guru” as one of the 100 Women to Watch in Wellness by mindbodygreen, and her deepest passion is living and practicing love and relationships as a spiritual path. To learn more about how she can help you create more love in your life, visit her at: shellybullard.com.
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