I've Never Failed, And You Don't Have To Either
I have never failed — at anything.
I know that sounds like a bold and arrogant statement, but let me explain. I have never failed at anything because I don't believe in failure. THERE IS NO SUCH THING!
That’s right, it doesn’t exist. Yet SO many people are crippled by the fear of it! Have you ever hesitated to try new things because you're scared you won’t be good enough? Does perfectionism cause you to get in your own way? Do you self-sabotage because you feel like you're inadequate?
What if I told you all it takes is a simple shift in mindset to change from feeling FEAR to feeling FREE?
First, let's breakdown fear. I am sure you have heard this before.
Fear is an innate protective mechanism that serves a vital purpose. If you were confronted by a hungry lion, fear would trigger the flight or flight mechanism, releasing a surge of cortisol and adrenaline. We rarely face life-or-death situations in our daily lives, yet our thoughts and beliefs create psychological fear, which produces the same fight or flight response. Many of us are living constantly on high alert in a heightened state of anxiety.
As my spiritual guru, Gabby Bernstein, says, "We choose to hold on to fear-based projections from our past and then we replay them and reactivate them over and over in our lives. Fearful beliefs keep us stuck in those old patterns and behaviors. When we're faithful to fear, we're really not living in our highest truth. So the real work of transforming your life, is to look at your fear and get honest about it."
Now let’s talk about failure. Failure is nothing but an abstract concept based on your perception. We equate accomplishing a desired outcome with success and non-desired outcomes with failure. But what if everything was just an experience and you learn to appreciate the value in ALL experiences, both positive and negative?
You can choose to perceive failure as proof that you are inadequate and worthless, or you can ask yourself, “What can I learn from this?”
We tend to define ourselves and determine our value based on our accomplishments. We set goals like buying a house, finding a spouse, having 2.2 kids, a flat stomach and our dream job. The problem with this model is that our self-worth often depends on achieving these goals. How do we feel about ourselves if our goals are NOT achieved? What does it say about YOU if you don’t get the promotion at work or your house goes into foreclosure? Would your value as a person change? Should the people who love you already love you any less?
We can't control life, and it's impossible to achieve ALL goals. If we continue to rely on these limiting thoughts and beliefs we jeopardize our self-worth. Change your mindset, change your life!
So why bother having goals? The purpose of goals is to give us focus, but it's important not to become attached to defining your worth by achieving them. For example, my goal is to write a book. While I hope to achieve this goal, I've already learned so much and will continue to evolve and develop throughout every step of the process. Even if I never actually finish my book, I've succeeded.
It really is that simple. I resisted at first, but what we resist persists. We like to stay stuck in our familiar patterns, replaying the same broken record. It takes repetition to change these well-formed neural pathways and upgrade negative beliefs that formed so long ago and are stored deep at a cellular level.
I challenge you to tweak your belief system and realize that just by virtue of being alive and contributing to the world (and you are!), your worth is 100%. No one and nothing can add or take value away from it. You are ALWAYS 100%. Shift your perception to find lessons in all the stumbles and falls and appreciate them as much as you do the victories.
What would you attempt to do today if you knew you could not fail?