What I Learned The Year My Life Fell Apart
Three years ago, my life fell apart.
I was 35, living in New York, and had worked in publishing for the past 15 years. My company had to shut its doors and with that I had no job, no savings, no health insurance, and no idea of what to do next. As I am from the UK, I had no visa to stay in the city I now called home. On top of that, I had just split up with my boyfriend and I had a broken arm.
It was not pretty. I was a mess.
To top it off, my mum called everyday saying, “Get yourself on a plane and come home!” and without knowing why, I kept saying no.
All that I knew is that I didn’t want to get on a plane back to the UK and spend another 15 years working in publishing, and that I wasn’t yet ready to leave New York.
I had two months to create a new career, get my visa sponsored, and earn money.
I tried everything I could think of to make money, like becoming a cleaner, finding jobs on Craigslist, begging close friends, and selling items from my home. I pulled together enough money to stay in a studio in Crown Heights.
It was at that time that I really began to look at what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to work with people who were making a difference in the world. People who not only inspired me but who I could inspire.
In the past I'd always given up on what I wanted, always listened to what others expected me to do instead of having the courage to do what I wanted. I don’t regret anything, but I hated being in an office 9 to 5 and the thought of returning to that lifestyle got me into action. I kept going like my life depended on it, because it did.
Using the tools of Landmark Education, which I have participated in since 2001, I talked to everyone I could about what I wanted to do and to find out what was available in the market. I researched companies, asked for introductions, and basically went on the rampage to find a job that was perfect for me.
After countless conversations, meetings and emails, something finally popped two weeks before I had to leave the country.
I was talking to Jon Rubinstein, a fellow Landmark graduate, about how to launch fashion designers and from that conversation, he asked to join Authentic Talent Management and start a new division. Up until that point Authentic represented actors and actresses, and this would handle brands and organization and people in other fields.
We called it the Creative Development Division and set about trying to establish our vision. It was unchartered territory for both of us and as I began establishing the connections and relationships that would allow me to develop my new clients, I again thought many times of giving up and moving back home.
Two years later, my division has grown, and I now manage and develop people, brands and organizations that want to impact the world through media. From transforming how and what we eat to empowering young people; from being beautiful at every age to hosting award shows and being creative, my clients continue to inspire me with their dedication to achieving their dreams and making the world a better place.
My clients, like me, have faced adversity along the way, and they've been told along the way that they're aiming too high, or that their dreams are too big. I continue to champion their causes and celebrate their successes, all the while reminding them that they can achieve anything they set their mind to. That’s because along the way I never gave up.
I thought the magic was this job, which it is, but a year later I met Pascal.
We fell in love instantly. I never understood the concept of a soul mate until I met him.
I would never have met him unless I had the courage to do this.
I have an analogy that I share with my clients when you are creating something new in your life that has never happened before. Imagine a glass jar and you are blowing bubbles into it. If you keep blowing, eventually one has to pop.
The glass jar is your life, the bubbles are the actions you are taking and the “pops” are the magic you are making happen.