Do you ever feel like running away from it all? As in: not being present? As in: escaping your life? As in: feeling like if you moved away life would be somehow better?
For a long time, it was not just a a metaphor for me. I literally ran and ran and ran. I was an exercise-aholic. Instead of facing anything in my life, I simply ran.
When I was 18 and I got a call that my step-father Carl had died in his sleep, I simply hung up the phone, laced up my sneaks, and ran for two hours around Cooper River in New Jersey. It was an old habit of mine, this not wanting to feel anything.
I'm sure it was the same impetus that drove me to get skinnier and skinnier. The less I weighed, the less I felt. Bla bla. You've heard all of these things before if you have ever known someone with an eating disorder.
I eventually got tired of running.
I had to do it.
(Get it? The DMC = Daily Manifestation Challenge? I had to do it.)
I discovered yoga. I discovered that if I sat quietly with myself I could begin to heal old wounds and, more importantly perhaps, I could begin to be present in my life.
I spent many years being very much not present.
In fact, I can barely remember my 20s.
I know sometimes life sucks. There, I said it.
I have a friend that you all know by now, Emily Rapp, whose baby just died February 15th from Tay-Sachs. I am sure in her fantasies she has wished once or twice that she could've just run away from her life.
Ain't gonna happen.
She wrote a book about it called The Still Point of The Turning World (in stores March 7th). She exercises (a lot), she teaches her writing classes at the university, she calls her friends for support (me) and she tries to be present as best she can be.
She does what she needs to do even when the impulse is to RUN!
My DMC to you is this:
Where can you stop running in your life? Where can you look at what "is" and accept it. (Remember the mantra from an earlier DMC: "And so it is"?) Have there been instances in your life where you have run away?
I am really looking forward to hearing your thoughts, Brave Ones.
And Dear Manifesters, please stop running. Walk instead. In fact, walk this way.....
Post below where you can stop running and what you can stop running from. Post below where you can be more present. Share anything you like. We're here for you. I am here for you. I am present.
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