Love, love, love. We want it, we want it to be better, we want to keep it when we have it and yet it all seems so elusive at times.
While I could launch into a treatise on how you need to “love yourself” first (and that is true!) I thought I'd take a moment to shine a light on the ways that the feng shui of your whole home (not just your bedroom) affects your romantic life.
You can implement all sorts of tips and tricks in your home to enhance love, but if the basic foundation of your home and life is not solid, you might be chasing away prospective partners. It’s not just the bedroom that communicates your intimacy level and openness, your entire environment informs others about you in many ways.
Let’s look at a few big ways that a home might be messaging “I’d rather be alone” while you are thinking “I’d like to find true love.”
Here are a few feng shui love notions you haven’t heard:
How high a standard do you set for your life?
See your home through the eyes of a prospective lover. If a total stranger who you hoped would become a part of your life entered your home on an average day, what would they see?
While you may find the piles of papers, dishes in the sink, and crooked pictures on the walls to be artfully messy, someone entering from the outside might find it to be an immediate red flag.
The reason why I ask about the standard you set for your life is that an environment that is constantly out of whack and a mess suggests that its inhabitants lack presence, focus and attention. All of those awesome qualities also factor into awesome relationships. Ever date someone who was scattered and checked-out? If you have you know it’s not very fun. Tackle your messy habits and your whole demeanor may follow suit, along with your love-magnetism!
If your home is blanketed in family pictures…or, worse, self-portraits, you might be overwhelming a prospective partner.
Yes, I know, you want to find someone who loves you and your family as much as you do. I understand. However, when someone enters a home that is chock full of these images everywhere, they may feel like there is not a ton of room for more people in your home.
I’ve had clients initially think that this was totally nuts, but, alas, when they reorganized their family photos and removed their self-portraits, they noticed a big change!
How rich is your home in sensory goodness?
I just went to see a home (I’m house hunting for myself-what a chore!) and it had this lingering stale scent that was impossible to ignore. As I looked around this rather amazing place, my mind went to every problem and started finding issues where there were very few. This stale scent really colored my experience of the entire space.
Ultimately, I passed on the place that was otherwise pretty excellent because of this sinking feeling that brought all sorts of other annoying issues to light. A little bit of aromatherapy, even a stellar candle that you love, goes a long way in changing the experience of your space. Opening your windows to air out your home is another vital way to keep your space fresh and lovely.
Do you sweep things under the carpet?
Oh man, when I see people stash things under furniture or, the worst, under their bed I cringe! Some client’s ask if it’s a big feng shui deal if they organize and nicely store things under the bed. My response will always be the same. If you can organize and store things, why can’t they be someplace else? While storage space is an issue, the availability of gorgeous storage furniture has never been greater or more affordable.
The utter black-hole of this “sweeping things under a carpet” phenomenon is the junk closet or drawers (or attics or full rooms) where stuff gets shoved and piles up. You don’t want to deal with it now so you stick it in the closet.
While this junk space might not hit a clinical hoarder status, when I see this stuffed junk scenario I instantly wonder what else this person just doesn’t want to deal with, and it’s generally revealed that there are many emotional and practical issues being treated in the same way. If you can’t confront issues and emotions then healthy relationships will be hard to manage.
Good relationships involve honestly and emotional vulnerability. In cleaning up this stuff, you might find yourself able to deal head-on with things you might be apt to avoid.
That should give you a little primer to the expansive ways that we communicate with others through our environment. Love feng shui should not just be on the surface, it tends to “work” best when it’s holistic and complete.
After all, your bedroom isn’t the only “love room” in your life, and your whole life should be full of love!
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