Stop Doing These 5 Things If You Want To Thrive
This year is meant to be the beginning of something huge, something major, something on fire for life as we know it.
In order to welcome in your highest potential, here are five things to stop doing to pave the way for yourself, your true self, to thrive.
1. Stop shirking compliments.
By paying you a compliment, that person is not intending to insult you. It’s an honest to goodness exchange of energy.
All too often in life, someone pays us a sincere compliment and for whatever reason, we don’t think we’re good enough, smart enough, thin enough, young enough, intelligent enough (whatever-enough) — we shrug it off.
Yes, you. Just stop it right now. The next time someone pays you a compliment, allow the nicety to land in your being. Absorb it. Soak it in. Take in this pleasantry for what it is, a kindness. And move on knowing that you’ve just taken a hit off of one of life’s greatest energy resources — love.
2. Treat your body, mind, and soul.
You may like to think that you are invincible and I have no doubts that in many ways, you are. You’ve made it this far and I’m certain that you’ve done it with your very best abilities, gracefulness and resources available to you, but let’s be honest: You have needs. You simply do. We all do.
It’s part of the human condition. Sure, it starts with the basic survival elements — shelter, food, water — but then the list grows. And if you’re being honest with yourself and everyone else, the list grows exponentially — hot baths, “me-time” hugs, favorite TV shows, warm socks, back rubs, gluten-free crackers, and on and on it goes.
I’m not saying you should indulge your every fancy until you have impossible credit card debt and a cloak of unnecessary pounds, but I am saying do not deny your basic, fundamental needs. Take the time to nurture yourself. If you don’t, your body, your mind and your soul will strike back. Life is funny like that. It simply doesn’t lie.
3. Stop using misery to define yourself.
At some point in his or her life, everyone has used their misery to define themselves. You’ve suffered — a broken heart, a broken bone, a broken bank account, a broken career path — something. And I get it, yes, commiserating can sometimes feel incredible.
Someone understands, you say to yourself and that glorious encounter when you — miraculously — just happen to be seated next to someone who has weathered the exact same malady as you. And you connect with said person. You share. Get it out, air it out and let it go.
Yes. Let it go. It’s over, it’s gone and you are free. You no longer need to burden yourself with said occurrence any more. Be vigilant about it. You do not want to look up and have let 10 years slip by while you were nursing your wounds and missing the glory of the moment — moment after moment, day after day, year after year. Let the pain go. It’s time.
4. Stop sabotaging yourself — financially, nutritionally, emotionally.
You know when you’re up to no good. You know when you’re secretly giving yourself permission to hijack your original well-meaning intention(s). You’ll say you’re just going to the fancy grocery store to pick up a $5 Kombucha and yet you leave with $30 worth of additional “items.” Did you really need that dark chocolate cocoa as well? We all do this.
We've survived circumstances in our lives that required hyper-vigilant awareness. And even if we’ve done the work on ourselves to move on, often times our central nervous system is simply wired for “hyper-vigilance.” So when we are safely out of boredom, we create a scenario that will require our familiar gear of “hyper-vigilance.”
That might be debt, added weight, new heartache, late deadlines, etc. In such, we have created a scenario where we get our fix of adrenaline. I’m here to tell you that this pattern does not serve you. It’s exhausting and it’s a waste of your valuable resources. Recognize your need for this. Catch yourself in the act. Breathe. And change the process. You can do it. You’re ready. On the other side of this evolution is freedom like you’ve not yet encountered. Go!
5. Stop thwarting your own desires.
This one is inspired by my latest muse, my latest S-hero — Danielle LaPorte. I’m mildly obsessed with her most recent endeavor, The Desire Map. In this program, and that’s really what it is, more of a program than a book, she encourages you to have goals with soul.
She helps you distill life down to your most fervent desires. And one thing that was huge for me in this process, which I absolutely must share with you, was giving yourself permission to have any desire that you want. Pause for effect. Yes, that’s right. You are allowed whatever desire you like.
You do not have to have desires that line up to Christianity or Hinduism or Judaism or any -ism. You are simply allowed to desire what you desire — without limitation. Just let your desires be. Acknowledge them. Own them. give them voice. Allow yourself to indulge in this simple act: Desire. She even goes on to profess that your desire is like a prayer. It unites you with God. So, there you go. Get really clear on what you desire. Courage? Honesty? Joy? Happiness? Bravery? Only you know. Spend some time on this.
It’s beyond exhilarating — definitely time well spent. Stop putting parameters on what you can and can’t want. It makes no sense to limit yourself in this regard, unless you think it’s smart to protect yourself from disappointment because who ever thrived like that anyways? Let. Your. Desires. Be. And get cozy with them. This is your one life. Don’t waste it in an endless attempt to stay safe.
So there you go. 5 simple steps, tricks, exercises to help you drive this new year with gusto — not fear. Cheers!