Recently while on my favorite social networking site, one of my friends posted a simple question:
What do women want?
I can answer that! In fact, I'll explain what women DO NOT want, as well as WHAT WOMEN WANT!
Women do NOT want:
1. To be controlled. She is an individual with her own drive and well she is in the driver's seat. Enjoy the ride if you are lucky enough to get into the passenger seat.
2. To feel that her goals are dismissed. Regardless of how insignificant they are to you, support them with everything you are. Talk to her about them, listen to her, offer advice on how to help with said goal but only and I mean ONLY when asked specifically! Do not try to make them your own goals!
3. To be shut out of your feelings. This is the worst thing you can do. The moment she questions how you feel is the moment she feels differently! Everyday fight to show her your love, even if you are too busy.
4. To go to bed angry. There is plenty of time to sleep another time, but if she cares enough about something to lose sleep over it, stay awake and care about it, too!
5. To be compared to others. She is an individual, she is perfect for who she is and will be. If she is a hippie, please do not try to compare her to the apron-wearing Joan Cleaver she will never be! It makes her feel you want something different then what she can offer.
6. To be told lies. Do not lie. This one's simple!
7. To deal with excessive pride. Do not have too much pride to apologize for any wrongdoing on your part. Even if you do not feel you did something wrong, I am sure you are sorry she feels hurt?Apologizing is not admitting you are wrong, it is showing you are strong enough to accept the responsibility for your actions.
8. To cry alone. Do not let her cry or be upset by herself. You may not even understand why she is mad or upset or hurt but for the love of Pete, be there for her! Turn off the TV and hug her like you mean it. Even if she does not want to talk, just let your presence be felt.
9. To feel like she and her partner are on different levels. Whatever you feel and care about strongly does not make it better than what she cares about. Its just different. Its not a competition, ever. You need to keep yourself equal with her, never higher. Even if her passion is a piece of string and yours is taking over the world, keep an even keel and stay on the same level as her.
Although this list can go on a mile, I feel you get my point.
Here's what women DO want:
1. Eye contact. Look in her eyes when you talk to her or she talks to you. In that moment its about a conversation being had between two people, not the TV, not dinner, etc.
2. Affection. Kiss, hug, touch, show affection, there is no such thing as too much! Do not wait until date night or her to ask you. Hold her hand!
3. To feel desired. When you desire her, show her. Don't just tell her. When a woman feels wanted it really does something to her internally. This keeps that pull between you two strong. Always always show her you want her, even if you are dead tired.
4. Thoughtfulness. When you think about her during your busy day, send her a text or call her. Now, don't call and say, "I was thinking of you," make it more personable. Whatever it is you were thinking about, share it with her. Stupid, funny, crazy, insignificant, it does not matter! Just include her.
5. To hear "I Love You." Always tell her how you feel about her even if its repetitive! If you are not great with words, just tell her a million times that you love her. Its better to hear it repeated than not hear it at all.
6. To be included in your goals. Remember this is a team, you are supposed to be in everything together, not just what you decide to include her in! Never make a huge decision without her and even if you honestly don't give a rats butt about her decision, at least ask.
7. To feel appreciated. Appreciate her and everything that is her. All the things she does that just go unnoticed until of course they are not done, should be all the things you thank her for.
8. To be noticed. Notice how much she can love without ever saying it. Notice her hair, smell, face expression, clothes, toenail color, gum flavor, etc. All these little insignificant things need to be noticed and shown to her. She needs to know that you can see these things that make up who she is.
The honest truth is, that question, "What do woman want," will never have a one-size-fits-all answer.
Each woman is different but we are all made of the same bones, blood, and skin and all have the same desire to feel loved. Start small and work your way up while you get to know the woman you love and one day the answer will be there.
"Every soul has it's mate and it's not up to us to decide. The questions we feel in our hearts will be answered when soul mates are finally brought together."