We all have habits, most of the time we know what our habits are, and sometimes we can rely on our friends or family to point them out to us!
How many times have you had an intention to change something for the better? You buy a gym membership. Purchase a bulk load of nicotine patches. Promise yourself only one glass of wine, which turns into a daily bottle. Or fall into a guilty pit of despair after you’ve eaten a second piece of chocolate cake.
Did you know that you only have to repeat something for up to 21 days for a habit to form in the unconscious mind?
You create habits and behaviours from social circles, from childhood, your parents/guardians, the media (subliminal stimuli). You're subconsciously mimicking what has been imprinted in your brain by what is going on around you.
It took me many years to change my thinking about smoking, chocolate and wine. I used to have a glass of wine every night during the week. I smoked on my way to and from work. It was definitely a habit more than an addiction.
I used chocolate as an emotional prop after a stressful day at work, and I couldn’t last more than 3 months in the gym! I got SO bored. When we experience pain (emotional or physical), we naturally move away from it into pleasure.
There have been many scientific studies researching into what stops people from successfully completing a goal they set out to do, and the conclusion is that if you're forcing yourself into a lifestyle that does not resonate with you, or that you enjoy – it won’t last!
There has to be a real desire to implement change, and so many people fail at new regimes because they do not congruently want the change. You may have heard someone say in the past “part of me wants this, and the other half doesn’t” yep that is absolutely right. Unless you can bring the two consciously together, you may be setting yourself up to fail before you’ve even started.
You may have struggled in the past to kick a negative habit, and you cannot understand why you keep failing at your desired outcome because you’ve cried, got angry, upset, frustrated at yourself etc.
There are several reasons for this.