Why You Get a Little Crazy When You Fall In Love

Written by Shelly Bullard, MFT

Ever wondered why you get a little goofy around that person you're crushing on?

Why is it that you act normal and keep your cool everywhere except around people you really like?

In this article I'll explain why your head gets so activated when you fall in love, and how to try to keep your cool the best you can.

Falling in love is one of the most potent spiritual experiences many of us have ever had. Feelings of oneness, of completion, of timelessness, and of ecstasy fall upon us. Yeah, it's some good s#*t!

And because those feelings are so desirable—because we want love so badly—it can easily take us over.

And herein lies the problem: when we believe that another person holds the key to feeling this good, they become all-powerful. 

Immediately, we are tricked into believing that love exists outside of us—in them! And if only we do and say all the right things, then we will get to hold onto to this amazing feeling of love.

This is your ego talking to you, and it's a tricky little sucker.

First thing to remember about the ego is that it's always going to tell you that what you want is outside of you. And although it seems believable, it's a lie.

Actually, what you want—that feeling of love that you crave—is occurring within you. And the best way to make it last is to allow yourself to FEEL it.

Your ego doesn't want you to feel love because it doesn't exist when you do. 

So it fights for its life by pulling you back into your mind when your heart gets full. It feeds you all kinds of messages about what you should and shouldn't do to make that feeling of love last. And these messages do their job well: they distract you, taking you right out of the moment in which that beautiful feeing of love is existing.

When your heart gets really activated, your ego gets activated to the same extent. This is why you get a little cuckoo.

So what should you do when your head starts to trip out about love? Remember this: Love doesn't live in the mind. It lives in the heart.

All you have to do is recognize the ego's crazy voice inside your head and politely say, "No, thank you."

Make an effort to drop back into your heart. Take some deep breaths. Allow yourself to feel the love, rather than analyzing it. Your mind can really do a number on love; seriously, just put it in the back seat for awhile and enjoy your heart's ride.

People are afraid to let their hearts lead the way. But my experience has been that it's not the heart that gets us into trouble, but the head.

You can easily overanalyze the goodness out of love; you can think yourself into a frenzy. You can list all the pros and cons, the whats and whys and hows. But nothing, nothing is going to give more potent, more accurate information than how you feel.

When you fall in love, trust it. Is your heart saying yes?

Then listen.

There is a level of wisdom that occurs beyond the mind. This is called intuition. When we let our minds get in the way and distract us from the more intuitive messages, we can miss out on the good stuff.

Relax into love.

Melt into it.

Consciously allow yourself to feel your way through it. And don't be afraid. Love is supposed to feel really good—let it! The more you get out of your head and drop back into your heart, the better it's going to be.

Shelly Bullard, MFT
Shelly Bullard, MFT
Shelly Bullard, MFT, is a Marriage and Family Therapist, Love Coach and Spiritual Teacher. She's the...
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Shelly Bullard, MFT
Shelly Bullard, MFT
Shelly Bullard, MFT, is a Marriage and Family Therapist, Love Coach...
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