Do You Fear Who You Really Are?
One of the scariest things we can do is begin to embrace who we really are.
It's much easier to simply play the roles others expect of us, in order to maintain certain images and ideas around who we are.
It's so ironic that we feel more comfortable being someone false, as opposed to revealing who we really want to be. We are born into this world, into this body, on a path of self discovery and purpose.
There is no set age in which we figure this all out – in fact, many may not experience all the lessons they need to learn in their current life.
This discovery of self and greater purpose is simply meant to happen according to where we are on our journey and what it is we are here for in this life. Essentially, our greater purpose.
As part of this awakening experience, we discover who we really are, our authentic self. Many experiencing such transitions will agree this experience causes a duality of pleasure and pain.
There is pleasure in discovering this inner sense of oneness and peace, by embracing the true being we really are. The pain that often teams up with this involves a whole lot of vulnerability, letting go of limiting beliefs, letting go of years of social conditioning and often letting go of a lot of people who no longer serve us as we discover the core of our soul and being, who we really are – our authentic selves.
As we start to walk our own path, it is like stepping up a staircase. Each step we take on this discovery of authenticity often involves learning on each step of the staircase, a previous behavior, person, idea, belief that no longer resonates with who we really are.
And even though we are essentially ‘stepping upwards,’ it can feel as though we are ‘falling’ because we are letting go of things that, for many years were so familiar to us, we found safety and solitude in these people, ideas, behaviors and beliefs.
We start to let go of toxic "comfort" foods, and replace them with wholesome nutrient dense foods. We let go of familiar behavior patterns and replace them with new ones, which can be really scary because we feel a sense of wait a minute this isn’t how I used to act?
It can startle our being; or we literally cut out people with whom we used to spend so much time and were once close to but have realized they no longer feed our souls. We stop engaging in mindless chit-chat and start to put ourselves out there in a huge vulnerability pool.
This can be extremely scary!
I went for a bush walk yesterday with one of my closest friends, and being outside, surrounded by the beauty of nature, opened our hearts and minds to this concept even more.
We discussed how this theme has played out in our own lives and in particular within our personal relationships. Not just romantic relationships, but even friendships. We spoke about how it's so much easier to be rejected if you are not being true to who you are, but being who you think that person wants you to be.
Because being rejected because of who you REALLY are is so much more hurtful. If we put on our masks and play out the character who we think our partner or friend really likes, then we are much more okay with being hurt because we can palm it off. Oh well it wasn’t me anyways they didn’t like it was who I was acting out to be.
This can be likened to everyday life also. If we live our life according to what we think people will accept and like (aka – conforming), then we will be liked and loved by everyone.
I experienced this for many years, I was living my life according to what they all wanted. And yeah it was safe, it was making everyone else happy because they knew what to expect of me and I was meeting their expectations.
But…what about me?
I was deeply, deeply depressed. Depressed because I wanted to be truly me, but also depressed because I knew that if I chose that path I'd lose everyone who knew me as who I was for them.
Alas, I took the risk. And it was one of the most fearful things I have ever done. And let me tell you I have done some crazy things in my life.
And yes, I have lost people from my past, who are no longer serving me and supporting my soul of who I a truly am. I will never forget my first blow: when I first turned vegetarian, a friend said to me “You know you are probably never going to find a boyfriend being vegetarian, most guys will think you’re a freak.”
However two years later, I am still vegetarian and haven’t had troubles getting boys because of it. At the time it jolted me in a deep way.
When we step out from the norm, or when we go out on a limb and take a risk, others are so fearful they cannot do the same, so they project their fears onto us, which makes us doubt ourselves. But if we can see it from this greater perspective and have compassion for them it makes things a whole lot easier, instead of taking it as a personal attack.
It is when we truly unleash our deeper desires our deeper selves and show it to the world. Our hearts are truly open, we deepen our love for not only our selves, but for everything around us, everything we do and everyone we meet. This is true love.
And when we trust our intuition, trust our loving path and live our lives according to our truth of who we really are and what we deeply desire, we can never wander too far astray.