How to Create a New Chapter In Your Life

Written by John Kim, LMFT

Accepting our story is one of the most difficult things to do. We spend so much time wanting to rip out old chapters. We go back and wonder how things would be if we did this instead of that. We drown in our regrets.

Every thing that’s happened before right now is the reason why you are where you are today, who you are today. This is your story. You must own it. There is no refund. You can’t change it. It’s already been written. The accident. The event. The broken heart. The cheating. The lying. The fights. The drift. The dysfunction. The mistake. The ink is dry.

Maybe you believe if you can change things, you'd be better or worth more. Or maybe your obsessions are lined with control and the fact that you can’t control what’s happening today because of what happened yesterday is driving you crazy. Or maybe you're used to punishing yourself, dissecting your defects. Whatever the reason, it is a pattern you must stop. Dwelling is a razor.

What’s at stake? The rest of your story. 

You can’t start writing a new chapter if you haven’t accepted what’s already been written. Every moment you spend fighting and questioning the past, you are pulling yourself out of the present. When you pull yourself out of the present, you are putting the pen down. You stop writing.

1. Know that every story is unique. 

We are all on a different path. Comparing your story with someone else’s story is a complete waste of time. What is meant for them is not meant for you and vice versa.

2. If you’re in a shitty place, remember that today is going to be tomorrow’s past. 

If you keep looking behind, you won’t be able to see what’s in front. Then you won’t be satisfied when you get there and will continue to look back, hence getting lost again.

It’s a cycle. If you don’t break it, you can’t move forward.

3. Turn regret into wonder. 

Trust your story. Instead of questioning everything that’s happened and how all the puzzle pieces fit, trust the layout and get excited about what’s to come.

It’s time to accept your story.

And write your new chapter.

John Kim, LMFT
John Kim, LMFT
John Kim, LMFT, aka The Angry Therapist, runs a practice that redefines “therapy” in the traditional...
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